To_save_Middle_Earth.....or_not
by Lothlorien Ladies
Summary: Um...well me and my mate, Nat, are lost in Middle Earth but it's not what you'd expect.Nat and I decide Middle Earth could do with some livening up.
1. To the park!Tallyho!!

Disclaimer: Well there's no one in here yet that I don't own...Oh I don't own Nat. She's a real person and the hobbit holes and the little hobbits.  
  
A/N: Er.... Hi! This is Emma's (me!) chapter and Nat's chapter will be up next. Aren't you luck people. I'm sorry if it's a bit short (and crap). I couldn't think of anything else to write and having a mild case of writer block which isn't helping that much AND Mission Impossible on T.V  
  
Chapter 1  
To the park! Tallyho!!!  
  
Emma's POV (point of view)  
  
It was a rainy day in the peaceful city of London ( OK. London isn't peaceful but we can pretend ) and me and my friend, Nat, where inside watching the grey clouds pour out their contents on the unfortunate people below.  
I glared and cursed under my breath at the weather good ol' England was used to.   
"Urgh! I'm bored, Emma!" Nat frowned as she said this and you know not to piss off Nat or you'll have a badly broke nose on your hands.  
"Yeah and me...and having writers bloke isn't making it any better!"  
I swag around on my wheeling chair thingy and pushed my nose, literally, up against the dreaded blank computer screen, hoping it would type a story itself and save me the effort.  
"You know you can damage your eyes doing that." Nat spoke a-matter-a-factly as she poke me in the back JUST to annoy me. And it was working.  
"I don't care. I don't need my eyes to write brilliant stories."  
"You can stay here and stare at your beloved screen because I'm going out to the park."  
"Have you noticed..." My voice trailed off as my eyes looked out the window to see the grey clouds moving and letting the sun appear though. "AH! It's not raining anymore! Lets go down to the park."  
"Well that's what I said in the first... Whoa!" My friend shouted as I shoved her though the door and onto the glinsening pathway.  
I appeared out of the doorway carrying my bag with my 'essentials' inside, such as marmite sandwiches and a drink of coke. "Ready?"  
"READY. I'll race ya! " Nat shout as she was already half way there leaving me to drag the big pink bag all the way to Hyde park and back  
--------------------------  
When I finally got there Nat was already climbing the dahm trees and jumping off. One of these days I'm sure she'll break her leg doing that and blame it on me or something equally as dismal.  
"All right, Nat. Come back now and eat some of this stuff before I throw it in the bin and you'll never see it again!"  
No answer and I furrowed my brow (Wow. Never said THAT before) in worry and got up.  
"Nat?" I walked up to the 'mini wood' as I called it. "Nat where the fuck are you. I'm getting scared now."  
As I walked deeper into the 'wood' the trees started to lessen and what I saw frightened me shitless. So, being the person I am, I fainted.  
----------------------------  
Ever had a totally weird dream that involves small people with big hairy feet and curly hair? I thought not. Well, being me, I had a dream full of them in there little holes or you could call them houses if you squint your eyes really small.  
I swear I had heard about them before but I can't be pissed to remember because I have a headache and there is LIGHT shining in my eyes!!! I open my eyes fully and I thought I would be in Hyde Park with Nat but noooooooo...I surrounded by hobbits. Hang on.  
"Shit!!!!!"I yell making the little people run away from me and I think for a moment that I might have bad breath but then I remembered I just shouted. "Um...hehheh.. um where am I?"  
One of the younger...small..hobbity thingys came up to me with a intrigued face. Looking at my blue Nike trainers. His little face came up to mine and a weak smile tugged on his lips.  
"You are in The Shire, M'lady. Hobbiton to be precise."  
I made my trademark 'Ya-wha? ™' face and burst out laughing with the hobbits looking at me as if I have gone mad right there and then but I went made years ago, so that is impossible.  
. 


	2. Gandy's back in town. Erm....yo!

Author Disclaimer: I don't own the Hobbits, Hobbiton, or as a matter of fact, Emma. But there  
we go.  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
I wondered through the trees trying to find Emma. "Where the hell is she? I thought  
she followed me. Obviously I was wrong. Damn her." I kicked bitterly at a stone which was lying   
on the ground. Eventually I found some hills with little holes in them. As I got closer, I saw  
they had doors and windows. They were houses. "Oh great. Now I've suddenly been landed in  
Teletubby land. Next I'll be seeing these purple, red, green and yellow things popping up all   
around me and saying 'Eh oh'. Or maybe it's that I'm dreaming all this. Wow this is weird.   
Mind you, it's me, isn't it? I AM weird." I continued down the road. Suddenly I saw a crowd  
of small, curly haired people, surrounding someone. Emma. "Fine, maybe it's not Teletubby  
land. It's probably something like Munchkin land, or Ooompaloompa land. Except they're not  
orange. Well that rules that possibility out then. Where am I dammit?!!" I marched over to  
where Emma was standing. She gave me a smile which I didn't return.  
"Something wrong?" she said.  
"What do you think?" I snapped, "Where the hell are we?"  
"We're in Hobbiton." she replied.  
"Oh great. How absolutely wonderful. We're stuck in some god forsaken dump with only  
some short-arse midgets for company."  
"They're not midgets. They're hobbits." Emma said knowledgably.  
"Same thing. Now first things first. How to get out of here....." I paced up and down,  
the hobbits watching my every move.   
------------------------------------  
About half an hour later I still hadn't thought of a plan to get us out of Hobbiton.  
"Dammit, I think we're stuck." I said. Just then, a man came down the road in a  
horse drawn carriage. He was wearing a backwards baseball cap, and his grey hair was tied back  
in a ponytail (AN: VERY David Seaman. Lol...).   
"Gandalf!!" The hobbits exclaimed.  
"Yo. Wassup my lil homies?" the old man named Gandalf said. "Be scared, coz  
Gandy's back in town!" He gave a rap style pose.  
"This is getting seriously strange." Emma pointed out.  
"Ya think. We're surrounded by weirdos." I said.   
"So y'all comin' to tha' phat party down at ole Bilbo's?" Gandalf asked.  
"The whole of Hobbiton's invited." a rather fat hobbit said.  
"Yes." another one agreed, "It's going to be really big."  
"I'll be seeing y'all t'night then?" The hobbits nodded. "Now wha' 'bout you two?"  
Gandalf asked us.  
"I don't think...." Emma started.  
"Oh yes. We're coming." I cut in.  
"Good. I'll be burnin' up the decks wiv ma unique flava." And with that, Gandalf rode  
on. The hobbits dispersed, leaving us on our own.  
"But we're not invited to the party." Emma said.  
"So? We can gatecrash." I said.  
"That's wrong."  
"Who cares? We're going to a party! C'mon, let's go." I shot off down the road, Emma  
following.  
  
What do ya think? I know it's short but.......hey. R&R ppl!! 


	3. Parties, Accents and Entrancing Firework...

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Gandy, Frodo, Bilbo or any other hobbits and people in this Fic but myself. As I said before Nat is a real person so I don't own her as well.  
  
A/N:Yo me 'homies' : ).Did you like the first 2 chapters?*everyone nods and Emma slips them £10*GOOD!!!!That's what I want to hear.Let's par-tay!RAY!  
Sorry, couldn't make the writing look the accent that billybo (my little nickname for him) was talking in. My bad!!  
Yeah I know.Another short chaptor but it doesn't matter does it?Ok maybe it does...oh well!  
A special thanks to my proofreader,Madi! Thank you!!!:P  
  
Chapter 3  
Parties, Accents and entrancing fireworks.  
  
Emma's POV  
  
As the carriage and the rapping old bloke passed out of sight I raised my eyebrow. "There's something wrong with this picture. Isn't Gandalf supossed to be a wise wizard not a gangsta Rapper?"  
"Um... yeah? "Nat shrugged as she looked around at the hobbits carrying on with thier own business. Acting as though we wheren't even there. "Oh well. Least these habits aren't as boring as they look."  
"One, it's Hobbits, and two, I hope Gandalf isn't gonna 'burn up da decks with his unique flava' or what ever he said."  
--------------------  
After a few hours of walking over hobbits' gardens and looking closer at their houses we arrived at the party. Who's party was it? Oh well, we'll probably be to pissed to care at the end of this.  
Sure enough 'Gand-da-man' was burning up the decks and the little... people where standing around chatting, drinking and staring at the fireworks that where going off in the sky and making pretty patterns. No wonder they seemed to be in trances.  
After a good 2 hours of drinking games with the natives we where getting kind of ...woozy. I was slumped in a chair and Nat was dancing around... even though there was no music.  
A chubby hobbit stepped onto the table where I was sat and started to shout.  
"Hangs oonnn mat-hey...I know you.Yurrrrr Billbooo Bagginssssszzz."Of course he didn't take any notice of me and kept talking in a...farmer accent? Hang on. Isn't Bilbo a well brought up hobbit. Well, I seem to be wrong in most of the things here so I don't care anymore.  
"Me dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Gubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowerrs, Bolgerrs, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots! Today is my one hundrred and eleventh birthday! Alas, eleventy-one years is much too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits! I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve! I have things to do. I've put this off forrr farr too lonngg. I regrret to announce this is the end! I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell! Goodbye." After this he vanished.Hang on.I didn't know hobbits could vanish into thin air. Must be all this ale inside of me. It's making me forget those important things.  
I carried on as normal.Well, as normal as you can get when your in a hobbit town of Hobbiton. Hmmmm...wonder why they called it that? Oh wellllll, I suppose I'll never know. 


	4. Somehow landed in a quest......oh joy.

Author Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story. Except me, of course.  
  
I'll be passing the baton back to Emma once I'm done. Or so they say......  
  
Nat's POV  
  
Emma and I stumbled down the dark lanes clinging onto each other for support. We   
were laughing about something really stupid....like the trees.....or the sky.   
"Oooh! Who's 'at?" Emma slurred. "Looks like one of them 'obbits." She proceeded  
to giggle uncontrollably.  
"C'mon. Let's follow 'im." We rushed- erm, TRIED rushing after him but ended up  
on the dusty road in a small heap. I started crawling along on the ground after him, spurred on   
by the sound of Emma's laughter. I finally reached the hobbit hole that our little "friend" was   
heading to. "Over 'ere Emma." I called. A few moments later, Emma was beside me. We both  
made our way up the stone path. We could hear voices inside the hobbit hole.  
"Let's listen." Emma said.  
"Go on then." We continued up the path and hid under the window in a bush. We sat  
there for AGES listening to the voices having a conversation about a ring....and a dark lord....  
and the destruction of the world. So it was nothing important. Once they had finished, Emma  
tried to get up, but failed miserably. She landed head first into another bush. This was   
punctuated by a loud yell and some scuffling.  
"Hey, Frodo me lil buddy. Stay quiet, I think someone's out ta get ya. I'll sort 'em  
out." Suddenly a jewelled stick shot out of the window and hit me on the head.  
"Fuck that was painful." I said rubbing the spot where the stick had hit me. "You   
have no idea how heavy that thing is. I was bloody lucky that I didn't get brain damage or   
something." I picked the stick up before getting out of the bush. " Hmm, VERY Ali G. What do  
you think Emma?" No answer. "Emma? Where are you? Emma?"  
"Here." Came the reply.   
"Where?" I looked around blindly.  
"The bush remember."  
"Oh yeah. Sorry." I helped her up.  
"Oh! It's you two. An' ole Samwise Gamgay....ahem.....Gamgee." Gandalf laughed.  
"Gandalf? That you? And Mr Frodo?"   
"Yea'. Y'have a LOT of explainin' ta do Sam. And you two. Evesdropping. Inside.  
Now." Emma, Sam the hobbit and I went inside the hole.  
"Oh. Here's your stick." I said, shoving it at Gandalf.  
"Hmmm..shiny....Can I hold it please Gandalf? Please?"  
"No Frodo. Y'can't."  
"But....I like shiny things." Frodo protested.  
"Ohhh. Isn't he cute?!" Emma whispered to me.  
"Uh, no." I said sharply.  
"He is!!"  
"If you think that..."  
"Righ'. Now Mr Gamgee...er, can I call you 'Gee?" Gandalf asked. Sam sighed.  
"As I was sayin'. Explain everythin' tha' you 'eard now."  
Sam stammered out everything that he, Emma and myself had heard.  
"Righ'. I see. Well, as a punishment, y'have ta go wiv Frodo ta destroy da ring. An'  
you two...hmmm, I can't trust ya ta keep quiet so go wiv 'em."  
"Isn't this exciting?!!" Emma squealed, "We're going on a quest!!"  
"Oh great. How absolutely *brilliant*."  
"I'm glad you think that! Coz I think it too."  
"I have a really bad feeling about this...."  
  
Emma's chapter is next ppl! R&R plz!! 


	5. Get off the road! It's the Evil Telazgul...

Disclaimer: Yeh people I don't own Pippin, Sam, Merry, Frodo, Farmer Maggot or anyone else in this story but myself.Made up the name Telazgul and the black teleriders.Pretty cool uh?  
  
A/N: Come on peeps!!! R/R!!! Please, just for me? *puppy dog eyes* Hehehehe.  
Thanks to my proofreader, Madi, again.  
I know ANOTHER short chapter...oh well.  
  
Chapter 5  
Get off the road! It's the Evil Telazgul!!(or the black telleride's )  
  
Emma's POV  
  
I had a seriously BIG hang over the world as ever seen and I was on a fucking adventure to save Middle Earth. Fucking Brilliant. Remind me to slap Nat the next time I see her for making me do this.   
"My feet hurtttt!!"I moaned as I dragged myself though the tall maze field.  
"Shut up Emma! It's only been 10 minutes or so." Nat replied holding her head in her hands.  
I could see she was suffering as bad as I was but it's her fault we are on this gay little journey anyway.  
I next thing I knew I was on the ground with a...kinda cute little Hobbit on me. He's quick. We haven't even met. Awwww bless him. He looks so cute when he blushes.  
The hobbit got off me quicker than you can say 'Eh oh lala' while the other equally as cute hobbit with brown hair shouted out something that made me and Nat wince and hold our heads. "Why, Merry, isn't it our friends Frodo and Samwise with two big people."  
"What, praytell, are you to doing here?" The cute little hobbit that his friend said his name was Merry asked. Ummmm... Merry. Of course! The famous Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took. Oh I'm so smart.  
--------------------------  
Oh I'm running now. From a big farmer with a big scythe and 2 big dogs. Turns out the cute hobbits had nicked some veggies from his farm. Thank god I had sense and worn my good ol' blue trainers that now where getting ruined. Oh well it's better than getting sliced by the scythe.  
Me and Nat ran as if our life depended on it. Well it did... anyway we where running though the maze field with the four short, cute, little hobbit running as fast as they could of those little legs of theirs behind us.  
"Shit!" I yelled as the ground fell into a mini cliff type thing." Now what are we gonna do?"  
Nat was about to answer when the hobbits ran headlong into us. Making us all fall down the 'mini cliff type thing' and land in a big heap at the bottom. With Nat and I at the very bottom,  
"People! Who's got their hand on my arse?" Nat yelled making the offender take his hand off her ass.  
"Sorry!" Pippins voice came out of the heap.  
I sniggered as we all stood up and brushed ourselves off.  
Just then Frofro (my nickname for frodo) screamed like a little girl making us all look at him like he was... well, a little girl.  
"Get off the road!" Frodo finally yelled after his little girly screaming fit.  
As we dashed... or tried to dash behind a tree when they appeared. It was horrible. They where... they where..... TELETUBBIES!!! 


	6. Strider, the greatest ranger of them all...

Author Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except me.....  
  
Yay! Another chapter from me, Elfie. :) Enjoy it!  
Nat's POV:  
  
"Oh great. Teletubbies. Or should I say, Telazgul? And what's this they're riding?  
Noo Noos. Brilliant." I hissed. We were all stuck under a tree trunk hiding from those awful....  
beasts? The one of the black Teleriders got off his Noo Noo and started sniffing around the  
trunk where we were hiding. I looked over at Frodo, who was pulling the most extraodinary face.  
It looked as if he was constipated, but it was probably because he was fighting the impulse to  
put on the ring. The hobbit called Pippin suddenly had this bright idea about chucking this bag  
of mushrooms he had away somewhere to distract the Telazgul from us. I'm not impressed.  
"Just do it." Emma whispered, "Then we can escape and go to Bree." So they did.  
And it worked. This meant more running for us. Damn. We ended up sliding down ANOTHER  
hill, jumping over a gate, with a Telerider close behind. We reached the Brandywine bridge,  
after what seemed like eternity. But there was one slight problem. Frodo. Merry had undone  
the rope and we were already drifting rapidly away from the bank. All was going well, apart  
from the fact that Frodo was still running to catch up with us. He gave an amazing leap and   
landed, quite unharmed on the raft. I'm still wondering how he managed it.  
----------------------------------------  
"There it is." Sam said, "The Prancing Pony."  
"At last." Emma said, relieved. We all hurried inside, as it was raining hard and   
we were all soaked to the skin.  
"I'm beginning to think that this wasn't such a good idea." I said to Emma as we  
sat down at a table. I started to look around me. Plenty of men drinking themselves silly, lots  
of smoke, and guy sitting at a table with his cloak hood on. I watched him as he gazed   
around the pub. He paused when he saw Frodo.  
"Hey," I said, "Emma, you see that man?"  
"Yeah. What about him?" she looked at me with a sudden light in her eyes, "You  
fancy him, don't you?"  
"No I do not." I snapped, "Can't you see that he's taking a very special interest in  
Frodo here?"  
"Not really." Emma replied. I sighed. Emma has her thick moments, and this was one  
of them. Merry came back clutching a large tankard of beer.  
"This, my friend, is a pint." he said proudly, showing the tankard to Pippin.  
"Wow. A pint. I'm getting one." Pippin said before hurrying up to the bar.  
--------------------------------  
"Baggins? Yeah I know a Baggins. Frodo Baggins. He's over there." Ok. Mental note   
to self. Don't let Pippin drink again on this quest. Everything happened so quickly. Frodo fell  
over and disappeared. The man in the corner dragging him away once he'd re-appeared again.  
Emma followed them, leaving me with Sam, Merry and Pippin.  
"We must save Mr Frodo." Sam exclaimed. "Hurry, he could be in danger."  
"I'm sure he's ok." I said.  
"We MUST save him. I promised Gandalf that I wouldn't let him outta my sight."  
"Yeah, yeah. Ok. We'll find Frodo. God, don't cry about it." So we made our  
way up the stairs until we found the room we were looking for. The hobbits grabbed weapons,  
which mainly consisted of candlesticks and old chair legs, before we burst in.  
--------------------------------------  
The man looked up suddenly and tried to draw his sword, except it caught in it's  
sheath and fell to the floor. The man blushed before picking it up.  
"Who are you?" Sam asked, his voice shaking.  
"I am Strider." the man said pulling his hood back. "A ranger."  
"Ooohhh." Emma whispered, "He's very cute too."  
"Or not." I quipped. Strider crossed to the window, licked his fingers and tried   
snuffing out the candle.  
"Ouch!!!" he yelped, clutching his burnt fingers. "That REALLY hurt."  
"Not a very good Ranger, are you?" I said nastily.  
"Hey!!" Emma said. "That could happen to anyone."  
"I...erm...I think I need to practise that a bit more." Strider said sheepishly.  
"Ya. You do." I said, sneering at him.  
---------------------------  
Later on, we were all asleep in bed. Execpt me. I got the shortest stick so I had to sleep  
on the floor. Without much success. Ever tried sleeping on a hard wooden floor. No. And you  
don't want to either. Not a very pleasant experience. Unless you enjoy having splinters in your  
face. I sat up. Strider was sitting by the window, apparently keeping watch. It certainly   
LOOKED like he was watching, but the loud snores kinda gave it away. I rolled my eyes and  
crossed to where he was.   
"Ewwww." I said. "He's dribbling." I shook him. No responce. I tried again.   
Still no response. "Hey Ranger!" I yelled in his ear. That did it. Strider woke with a start.  
"Huh? I'm awake!!"  
"Aren't you supposed to be keeping watch?" I said.  
"Yes."  
"But you weren't."  
"Ah....yeah. Could you not mention that to anyone, please?"  
"I guess. And by the way, you were dribbling like crazy."  
"I was?"  
"Yeah." Strider began wiping his face frantically.   
"Gone?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Tha..." A loud screech cut him off. "The Telazgul!" he said. God, they really  
don't give up, do they? Emma and the hobbits woke up instantly.  
  
He he, you like? Plz r&r. It'll make me feel good. :) 


	7. Running, walking and running some more.O...

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but myself.  
  
  
A/N: Yeah. Hullo. I was bored at the time of doing this and it's only 10:00am. I know this chapter isn't that funny but I wasn't in a funny mood when I wrote this. Oh well. I'm sure it will be good all the same.  
Thanks to Nat for helping me out on this chapter and to Madi aswell!!!!  
  
  
Chapter 7  
Running, walking and running some more.Oh and some scary Telazgul.   
  
  
  
"What are they?" Frodo asked as he clutched his ring.  
"They where once men. Great kings of men, but Sauron the deceiver gave them nine magical tubbie toasts of power, and, blinded by their greed, they took them without question. One by one they fell into darkness. Now they are teleslaves to his will. They are the Telazgul, tubbiewraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the ring, drawn to the power of the one." Strider turned to the hobbits with a sad face. "They will never stop hunting you."  
-----------------------  
We are going to Rivendell now. To see Elrond.... oh happy days! Hope he doesn't look like Hugo Weaving.  
Me and the 'crew' have been walking for hours and my feet are killing me. I. Need. To. Stop!  
Nat and I are chillin' now. It's a shame Gandy isn't here. He would be proud of me  
-----------------------  
An old man dressed in a frilly white dress skips in, sees the camera and stops and smoothes out his dress... thingy.  
"Ahem..." He leans over a white football (as in English football). "Oh! Sauron! The power of I-see-garden is at your command!"  
A really freaky voice speaks from the football.  
"It's Isengard you pansy and... build me a barneyarmy worthy of MORDOR! For I am the mighty Sauron!!"  
------------------------  
We eventually see a large hill ahead of us.  
"We have reached Weathertop!" Strider cried.   
"At last!" I said happily, "Finally I can get some rest!"   
"Ah, onwards and upwards I say." Nat said from somewhere behind me.   
It was getting dark now, and we were still walking.   
"And it didn't look that far from where we were standing." I said to Strider.   
"Hmmm. Yes, I'm sure it's this way." he said. "Or was it back that way?"   
"Great job Ranger boy. You've gone and lost us." Nat said scathingly.   
"It's dark. You can EASILY get lost in these parts" I said defending him.   
"Are we there yet?" Either Pippin or Merry, I can't tell them apart, said.   
"Give me a moment." Strider said nervously.   
"No. We've given you long enough. I'm going back to where we were." Nat said angrily.   
"You can't!" I said.   
"I can and I will." And Nat stormed off.   
"We HAVE to follow her." I said to Strider. "Come on!" We all ran after her. It was tough   
going, as we seemed to be going up a hill. Nat was at the top, waiting for us.   
"Is this the Weathertop we were looking for, Strider?" she said, smirking at him.   
"Um....yes." Strider said quietly. The hobbits cheered. I couldn't help myself, I joined in with them.  
Finally I was at the top of... well, weathertop(sounds funny.Lol) and Nat was boasting because she got to the top before us 'feeble' people as she called us.  
I'm eating some yummy scrubby bacon and eggs and what not now. HEAVEN!! 


	8. Attack of the Tubbie Custard!

Author Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Except moi. Of course.  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
I was having lots of fun tormenting Strider at his lack of knowledge of the area.  
"I have never even BEEN here before." I said, "And I still found where we were meant  
to be heading."  
"Yes....well....erm...." Strider mumbled, "It's dark. It was an easy mistake to make."  
I just laughed. "Whatever Ranger boy."  
"Hey, Nat! Are you going to have some bacon? Or tomatoes? Or eggs?" Emma   
shouted over to me. She was sitting with the hobbits, Sam, Merry and Pippin. Frodo was asleep  
beside them.  
"You look after the little ones." Strider said to me. I gave him a "well duh" look. He   
gave me some swords before going off somewhere. I sighed and went to join Emma.  
"Are you having any?" Emma asked again.  
"Not for me thanks." I replied, "Oh, and keep these with you at all times." I handed  
out the swords to the hobbits first then Emma, leaving one for myself and Frodo. Emma looked  
over at Frodo.  
"Awww. He's so sweet when he's asleep."  
"Isn't he the lucky one." I said, stifling a yawn. "I haven't slept in 2 days."  
"I thought you slept at the inn." Emma said.  
"No."  
"Oh." Emma continued stuffing her face with eggs and bacon. "Nevermind, eh?"  
I felt like punching her. That instant, Frodo woke up. He saw the fire and,   
"Put it out you fools!!" He got up and started stamping on the fire.  
"What's he doing?" Emma asked.  
"He's putting out the fire, duh." I snapped.  
"But why?" A loud shriek could be heard.  
"That. Is why." I said. "Come on! Up here." We all scrambled through an opening  
which lead us up to a higher spot on Weathertop. "You lot stay here. I'll go find Ranger boy."  
I ran off. I found Strider, he was fast asleep again. I sighed.  
"Oi!!! The hobbits and Emma are in trouble. So get your arse over there, on the  
double!!" I yelled in his ear. He leapt about a foot in the air.  
"Yes Sir!!" I rolled my eyes and pushed him back to where I'd come from.  
-----------------------------------  
When we arrived, we saw the Telazgul surrounding Frodo. A scream cut through the  
still night air.   
"Frodo!" I said, pulling out my sword. Strider attempted to do the same, and failed.  
Yet again. "You really need to sort that out mate." He blushed before making his way over to  
Frodo.  
"I'll save you Frodo!" he shouted. He brandished his sword at the Teleriders. They  
just looked at him. Strider screamed and ran away. I glanced at Emma.   
"Shall we do this?" I asked.  
"Yeah!!" Emma said enthusiastically. "Um, what are we going to do?"  
"Just attack the damned Teleriders!"  
--------------------------------  
"That went well, didn't it?" Strider said happily.   
"And you REALLY helped, didn't you?" I said.  
"Erm....no." he said sheepishly.  
"Quick Mr Frodo's hurt." Sam shouted. We all rushed to see Frodo lying  
on the ground, covered in pink globby stuff.  
"He has been attack with the Tubby custard. We must be quick, for it will begin to  
turn him into a Telerider." Strider said. Just then a bright light appeared, and a woman walked  
out of it, her skin glowing.  
"Oh wow!" She said, "I'm glowing! How cool is that? Erm....anyway. I'll take Frodo  
to my father, Elrond, who looks like Hugo Weaving." She laughed. I looked at her in disgust.  
"Right, we have a ditz on our hands" I whispered to Emma.  
"Uh huh." She said scowling. The woman, who we found out was called Arwen, took  
Frodo on her horse, which was white with baby pink reigns and rode off.  
"Now. To Rivendell!" Strider called.  
"Yeah. Just don't get us lost again, ok?" Merry said.  
"Hey! I try my hardest people."  
"Whatever." I said. And so we began our journey to Rivendell. Damn it's going to take  
a long time. 


	9. Damn! Elrond looks like Hugo Weaving!!

Disclaimer : Nope. Still don't own anything but myself and * dig's into her pocket* £1.02.  
  
  
A/N: Yeah yeah yeah. Hullo for the... 5th time from me!!!!! I found £1.02 in me pocket!! Oh yes!: )I'm doing short chapters now unless I have a real urge to write and end up doing 5 pages or something. : DI know that Agent Elrond and Gandy talk isn't funny but hey! I had to put it in.  
Thanks to Madi for proofreading and Nat for... well doing other chapters and helping me. : ) lol.  
Doing this chapter again because the other was crap. : P  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 9  
Damn! Elrond looks like Hugo Weaving!!  
  
Emma's POV  
  
Walking... some more walking and guess what, yeah more walking!! I am really tired, my feet are killing me and I'm hungry because Frodo kicked ash all over my eggs and bacon when he stamped out the fire!!   
I want to go home. Have my nice bed back again and have PROPER food.  
Finally after hours and days of hearing Nat tease Strider, Hobbits nagging about the food and having less sleep than when a man drinks 10 cups of coffee, we arrived at Rivendell.  
I ran all the rest of the way there and hugged building.  
"THANK THE LORD!!!" I yelled, clutching the pillar I was hugging like it was a life line.  
-------------------  
Nat and I where in chairs in Frodo's room because... well I made Nat sit in there because I wanted to see Frofro. Nat was more or less delighted to come.  
Oh yeah. Gandys and Elrond are here as well. Something about meeting up with an 'Ol' bud of Gandys but it went totally Bogus' so Gandy didn't meet us in bree.  
Ever since coming to Rivendell, Sam as been inspecting the gardens, Pippin and Merry have been in the library (Can you say FREAKY!) and Strider's been with his beloved ditz of a girlfriend, Arwen. God, I hate that son of a bit-  
"Where am I?"   
I took a minute for the four of us to register who's voice that was and Nat and I yelled "Frody!!"  
"You are in the pad of Elrond, my phat lil' hobbit dude! It's ten in the mornin', on October 24th, if you wonna know my lil' buddy." Gandy said doing a rapper pose again and swinging his ali G stick thing around.   
I looked up at the elf. Damn! Elrond looks like Hugo Weaving!! He looks a bit like that bloke in The Matrix as well.  
"Can I hold your Glittery stick please Gandalf?" Frodos eye widened when he saw the stick thingy.  
"No Frodo!"  
Frodo pouted and looked up at Gandalf again  
"Gandalf, why didn't you meet us?  
"I'm sorry, dude. This pansy of a wizard stuck me on top of a building. Where a dude called the king of the eagles saved my ass by letting me fly on his back to Rivendell." Gandalf said.  
The room was silence in the room until Frody said "Oh... OK then."   
"Welcome, you scum of Middle Earth, to Rivendell!" Elrond said scowling at Nat and I. God, he's scary. I don't think he likes us.  
  
-------------------------  
Elrond and Gandy watch Frodo and Sam talking from a balcony.  
"So, his strength returns"Elrond stated turning to Gandy.  
  
"That lil scratch will never heal. It'll leave one hell of a scar, give 'im that rough appearence."  
  
"Yet to have come so far still bearing the ring, the hobbit has shown remarkable resilience to its evil."  
  
"The little dude shouldn't have had to do it. We can ask no more stuff from frody."  
  
"Gandalf, the Enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are massing in the East. The Eye is fixed on Rivendell. Now you tell me Saruwoman has betrayed us. The list of our allies grows thin." Elrond looked back over the balcony.  
  
"Those freaky Men will help us."  
  
"Men .... Men are WEAK ! It's the smell ... if there is one ... it saturates , it's repulsive . Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. They are a plague. And we are... the cure!!"  
-------------------------  
Nat and I are walking to the SECRET council. We're late because Nat had to cheack out the male elves as we went passed. I'll just say it's Nats fault.  
My hopes where high when we entered the SECRET council. I wanted to see legolas.  
Hang on. Does Legolas wear a dress in the movie? Then it hit me like a ton of brinks. Legolas is a girl!!!!!! 


	10. A new friendship is formed.

Author Disclaimer: Not mine!!!  
  
A.N: Um, hi ppl! It's Elfie again, and here's my chapter. Don't blame me if the spellings get  
crap, but I'm having a stupid "I can't spell" day. I'm getting sidetracked again......Anyway, here's  
da chapter!!   
  
Nat's POV.  
  
The first thing I saw was an elf wearing a dress. "OH MY GOD!!" I yelled loudly.  
Everyone turned to look at me. Gandalf with his fur coat and his Ali G stick, Frodo was gazing   
at it dreamily, Strider wearing his crappy clothes, some dude with a teddy bear who was sucking   
his thumb, the elf wearing the dress, a dwarf who was reading something which looked suspiciously  
like Playboy.......  
"Is there a problem?" Elrond asked.  
"No. Not really." I snapped at him.   
"Hey, you can sit next to him." Emma whispered to me. "I'll sit with Frodo." She  
crossed the circle and sat next to Frodo. So I was left standing feeling rather stupid as I looked for  
the last seat. I groaned loudly as I realised it was next to the guy with the teddy bear. Actually,  
the more I looked at him, the cuter he seemed. I shook my head. God, where did THAT come  
from? I sat down.  
----------------------------  
The council is SO boring. Elrond is just blabbing on about all this crap about the  
ring. I feel like shouting at him. God he is such an arse! And really full of himself too......  
---------------------------  
Ah. The Fellowship has been chosen. It consists of: Frodo aka "Ohhh, shiny", Gandalf   
aka Ali G wannabe, Merry & Pippin aka the original pranksters,Sam aka Flower lover, Aragorn/Strider   
aka Ranger boy, Boromir aka the teddy dude, Legolas aka Girl with a capital G and Gimli aka   
Porno freak. And us. Great. How absolutely wonderful.  
---------------------------  
Oh no.....Porno freak alert, porno freak alert!!   
"Hey. The moment I saw you I knew I had to have you. How about  
you and me go try it out in the bedroom." I feel sick. Some weirdo dwarf is asking me to have  
sex with him.  
"No thanks. I might die of suffocation." I walked off. Later on I saw him trying his  
luck with Emma. No result.  
---------------------------  
"Why did you shout at the very beginning of the meeting?" Emma asked.  
"Didn't you see that.....THING wearing the dress?!!"  
"Yes."  
"Isn't that reason enough to shout?"  
"I guess. But everyone thinks you're strange."  
"Well they think right."  
"Anyway, I'm going to catch up with Frodo. So I'll see you later." Emma went off.  
She REALLY has a thing going for him, doesn't she? I sighed and sat down by the stream.  
I could see Ranger boy and Ditzy having a quick snog on the bridge ahead of me. I shuddered.  
Oh great. Incoming weirdo! Boromir is walking towards me holding that stupid bear of  
his. God, what does he want? Help, he's sitting next to me. I face him.  
"What do you want?" I snapped at him. He shrugs.  
"Just wanted to see the stars." He said looking up at the sky. Whatever. Hmmm,  
he IS actually quite cute. I shake my head again. What is with me and these thoughts?!!  
"It's nice here isn't it?" he said hugging the bear tightly.  
"I suppose....It's a lot quieter than London."  
"What's London?" he asked.  
"It's a city. A very big city."  
"Ohhhh." There was a long awkward pause.  
"I'd better be going." I said. "I haven't slept in days, and I want to catch up on  
some before we leave on this stupid mission." I get up.  
"I'll come with you." I rolled my eyes.  
"If you want to." I started walking off. Boromir got up too and ran after me.  
"It's exciting isn't it?" he said. Another desperate attempt to start a conversation.  
"If you call being chased by evil forces "exciting", then I suppose it is."  
"Are you scared?"  
"Why should I be? I'm regretting coming here, yes. Scared, no."  
"Are you ever scared?" I sigh.  
"Sometimes."  
"I get scared."  
"Really? That's nice." I was beginning to loose my temper. An owl hoots. Boromir  
jumps. "I'm scared now." He said.  
"It's only an owl." I said scathingly.  
"I know. But they freak me out. They make me think of dark, spooky haunted houses.  
I don't like this...." he wails, and before I know it, he's grabbed my hand and is squeezing it  
tightly.  
"Let go!" I said. "You're cutting off the circulation!!"  
"No!! I'm scared!!" I roll my eyes and continue walking, dragging Boromir along with   
me.  
We walk in silence for a while. I notice that Boromir keeps shooting sideways glances at  
me. I ignore him. Finally we reach the building again. Thank god.  
"I'll see you tomorrow I guess." I said to him. He nods and smiles. Hmmmmm, he IS  
cute. Dammit!! I'm doing it again! I see Emma looking out from the bedroom door watching me.  
She's looking at me weirdly. I then realise I'm still holding Boromir's hand. I wrench it out of his  
grip and turn to go.   
"Bye." he said.  
"Yeah bye." I walk over to Emma. She smiling at me. "What?" I ask her, pushing  
her out of the way. She doesn't reply. Emma shuts the door, runs and jumps onto her bed.  
She sits facing me. I sit down too. "What?" I repeat.  
"You're a fast worker, aren't you Nat?" she said, still smiling that annoying smile.  
I HATE it when she does that.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I saw you." she said.  
"I know you saw me. You're still seeing me now."  
"Ha ha."  
"I know." Emma threw me a withering look.  
"I meant I saw you with Boromir."  
"Yes.....So what? We were talking."  
"You were holding hands with him for god's sake!!"  
"He was scared."  
"Really? He didn't look scared." Emma said. I breath in deeply. Emma smirked at  
me. "Ooohhhh! Nat's found herself a BOYFRIEND!!" she teased. I scowled. "What ya gonna  
do next, eh? Take a walk under the stars, oh wait, you've already done that." I get into my bed.  
"Or maybe you'll get a little closer, and give him a snog." I bury my face in the pillow. "Or   
maybe you'll go further than that, and let him feel you up." I bury it deeper. "Or even further,  
and you'll....."  
"SHUT UP EMMA!" I yelled. "Look, I haven't slept in days, and I'm already in a  
bad mood because of it. Can I at least TRY and get SOME sleep. And it would help if you  
kept quiet." I blow out the candles. All goes quiet.  
"Maybe you'll make love...."  
"Emma! I'm warning you...."  
----------------------------------  
It's morning. And guess what? I didn't sleep again. Why? Because of Emma's constant  
teasing. And when she finally did get to sleep, I was wide awake anyway. So I got up and took  
another walk. Fresh air! Pity it doesn't cure bad tempers. I REALLY wouldn't like to be the person  
who annoys me today. Hell no. They won't know what's hit them. Well, they might, because it   
would be my fist. But that is beside the point.   
It was really peaceful down by the fountain. It kinda made me forget what was coming.   
But all good things must come to an end. And that moment of forgetting the quest was shattered   
as I entered my room again. To begin with, Boromir was there, waiting for me.  
"Why are you here?" I said angrily.  
"Oh, your friend let me in." he replied. I'm REALLY going to kill Emma now. And to  
make things worse, my clothes had gone. Everything! In their place there was a dress. There was  
a note too. It said; "Hi Nat! Elrond left these for us. He wanted us looking 'respectable'. There  
are some other clothes for us to travel in too." I looked at the muddy brown garments that were  
underneath the dress. I groaned. I continued reading; "I'm just off to breakfast now, so I'll catch  
you there. Luv Emma. P.S. I let your boyfriend in as he was hanging around outside the door."  
I picked up the dress.   
"Do you think you could go away while I change?"  
"Um...ok." he answered. There was something different about him, something was  
missing. The teddy bear. I shrugged and changed into the dress. I looked at myself in the mirror.  
Great. I look like some frikkin' ghost. But nevermind that. I exited the bedroom. Boromir was  
still waiting for me. He smiled at me. I ignored him and walked off.  
"Wait!" he said, "Don't leave me." I sighed and stopped for him.   
"Where's your bear?" I asked him.  
"Oh. Gimli used it as a toy."   
"But surely that is what....." Then it dawned on me. This was Gimli we were talking   
about. Gimli the sex obsessed freak. "I'm sorry." I said stupidly. Boromir shrugged. We  
walked in silence for a bit. He keeps looking at me. He did that last night. Strange bloke.  
"Um....You look nice today." he said.   
"Thanks." I replied. He then did something REALLY strange. He offered me his arm.  
"Would you walk with me?" he asked.  
"I AM walking with you." I snapped.  
"I mean, will you...." I closed my eyes and thought of all the ways I will  
be killing Emma. It's quite fun actually. I opened my eyes again. I sighed deeply before taking his  
arm. And this is how we walked all the way to breakfast. I dread to think what Emma would say. 


	11. Some scary birdies!!! ACK!

Disclaimer: *sigh* Don't own Rivendell, Frodo, Boromir or anyother people and places there are in this chapter or the whole story. All I own is myself and the Elf I made up. His name is Beleg, which means mighty.  
  
A/N: Time to learn how to fight me dears and some scary birdies *shudders* Thanks to everyone for reveiwing and Madi and Nat.:)  
  
  
Chapter 11  
Some scary birdies!!! ACK!  
  
Emma's POV  
  
It was early in the morning when I awoke with someone or something poking me in the arm.  
What the hell? Why are they poking me!!  
"Lady Emma. Time to learn how to fight if you wish to defend yourself against the evil creatures." A voice whispered in my ear.  
Hmmm. Sexy voice. Shall I get up? Nah.  
"Lady Emma?" He shakes me. OK, I'll get up.  
"Yes yes I'm u-" I opened my eyes and... wow. The hottest person you had ever seen was standing right in front of me. I then realised I was staring and of the verge of drooling so I got up from the bed and looked in the mirror.  
Oh my god!! You meet a really nice Elf and my hair is like... afro is the best way of putting it.  
.Oh well. I've been worse.  
"Lady Emma. I'm here to teach you how to do Archery. I am Beleg." He bowed and a small smile tugged on his lips. "I will see you in the archery range in 10 minutes then."  
He walked out the door and I grinned. Umm... I wonder where Nat is? She might have gone to do some sword fighting. I know she wanted to do that.  
--------------------------  
OH MY GOD!! I don't want to go anymore. It sounds scary and these arrows and quiver and what not are really heavy. Dammit!!  
"We have ta keep to dis path, west of da Misty Mountains for forty dayz. If we are lucky, da Gap of Rohan will still be open to us, den from there, our path iz east toward Mordor" Gandy stated pulling his fluffy jacket tighter over himself.  
"We will stop here for lunch!"  
"Oh my god!! Lunch!!" I scrambled up to the others (as I was lagging behind) and threwmyself onto the ground next to Frodo and Sam.  
Meanwhile, Nat and the other hobbits where fight with Boromir. Flirt.  
I get up and join Frodo and Sam eatting some bacon and sausages. Yummmmm... sausages.  
"What's that?" Sam walked over to where legolas was standing and looked out to the horizen where a black... well... thing was flying towards us.  
"Nothing, it's just a wisp of cloud!" Yelled Gimli poking his head over his... um... 'book'.  
"It's moving fast, against the wind!" Boromir pointed out.  
Legolas screamed like a girl (well she is a girl but hey!) and shouted  
"Crebain from Dunland!Hide!!"  
Ack! I'm kinda of running and prancing about because I'v got nowhere to hide!!Dammit!  
Aragorn pulls me into his hiding place quickly before the 'Crebain from Dunland' could see me. It's cramped. Oh well, least I'm with Aragorn. Haha.  
Gandy was the first to get out and dusting himself off. He said "Spies of Saruwoman. Da passage goin' south iz bein' watched. We must take da pass of Caradhras!"  
"Wheres that?" Nat asks.  
They all turn to face a BIG ASS mountain and Nat and I groan and mutter under our breath. "Shit." 


	12. Up the moutain, down the mines.

Author Disclaimer: I own nothing, apart from me! :)  
  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
Oh fun. Presently we are climbing some crappy old mountain, just because of some   
stupid spies of Saruwoman. And to make things even *better*, it has about 3 feet of snow   
covering the ground.  
"I'm tired." I moaned.  
"You should have slept like me, instead of taking secret walks with your BOYFRIEND."  
Emma said, smirking at me. I ignored her. Boromir was looking confused.  
"What does she mean?" he asked. I shook my head.  
"Nevermind......Oh!" I stopped. "Frodo's dropped his ring. Where IS Frodo anyway?"  
I looked all around. "He seems to have disappeared." Boromir bent down and tried to pick up the  
ring. I sighed.  
"Ouch!! You trod on my hand!! That REALLY hurt." Boromir was now sitting on the   
ground, nursing his injured hand. Emma was standing over him.  
"You shouldn't have put your hand where people were walking, now should you?!" she  
scolded. "You're bound to get hurt if you do stupid things like that." Emma grabbed the ring  
out of Boromir's other hand and went down to the line give it to Frodo. I rolled my eyes and   
helped Boromir up.  
"Come on. Let's see your hand." I took hold of his right hand and looked at it. It was   
red, and seemed to be swollen. I winced. That MUST have hurt. And I'm sure Emma didn't just  
do it by accident either......."We need to put some snow on that, to get the swelling down."  
I grabbed a handful of the snow and pressed it on his hand.  
"It's cold!!"   
"It's snow. Snow IS cold." I snapped. The snow was melting and the water was   
FREEZING. It was running down my arm and making me shiver. "There, all done." I said,  
removing the slush from his hand.   
"I can't feel my fingers." Boromir said, rubbing them hard. I sighed deeply.   
"You will soon."  
"But they're blue." he said, showing me his fingers. I sighed again and  
took his hand.   
"We need to catch up with Gandalf and the others." I said. Emma is going to have a  
field day when she finds out I'm holding his hand again.  
----------------------------------  
More walking. The snow is getting even deeper now. Dammit. Emma is looking at me,  
and smiling. Crap. She's seen us. I'm not going to live this down.  
----------------------------------  
Great. Saruwoman is trying to bring the mountain down on us. A lump of snow goes  
down my neck. I squeal in surprise, causing Boromir to jump out of his skin. Poor guy, he  
really is nervous.  
"What's the matter?" he asked, shaking like a leaf.  
"Just snow going down my neck. It surprised me. That's all." Next thing I knew,  
a whole load more snow came down on us.  
----------------------------------  
Everyone is trying to break free of the mass of snow which fell from the mountain side.  
I hear Emma shouting at someone about them putting their hand on her leg while she was buried.  
I'll take a rough guess as to who that mystery person is and say it was Gimli. Legolas is poncing  
around in his/her stupid frilly dress. Damn that stupid......thing.  
-----------------------------------  
Yep. You guessed it. We're all up and walking again. Except now we're going to the   
Mines of Moria. I don't like the sound of that. Considering Gimli's cousin lives there. I shudder.  
More porno freak dwarves. Having one is bad enough but more.....I don't think I could take it.  
And by the look of him, I don't think Boromir could either.  
------------------------------------  
Yay! We're finally stopping to have some food and to get some sleep. It's not the best  
of places, Moria. Especially with that rather suspicious looking water. But I don't care. Rest!!!  
------------------------------------  
The fire is lit and everyone is eating a meal of.......erm......I'm not sure what it is.  
Brown globby stuff. It tastes awful and smells funny too. Rather like sewers. Boromir was turning  
his nose up at it.  
"I don't like this stuff." he said loudly, "It tastes horrid."  
"I spent a LOT of time preparing this." Sam said, "And this is the thanks I get!"  
"What IS this we're eating?" I asked.  
"It's a mixture of some lake weed and mud." Sam replied, "Nice isn't it?" I couldn't  
eat anything else after what he just said. Emma seemed happy enough. I'll just take it she was  
starving.  
------------------------------------  
Bed. Ah, finally I can get some sleep!!!   
"Hey, Nat." Emma whispered, "I saw you with Boromir again." She smirked. "You  
two were holding hands! For the second time!"  
"His fingers were freezing, so I was just warming them up for him."  
"Sure you were." I sighed and turned away.  
-------------------------------------  
I was just getting to sleep when I felt someone come and lie next to me. I opened my  
eyes to see Boromir staring back at me. I groaned and sat up.  
"What is it?" I asked, trying to keep calm.  
"I can't sleep." he replied. "I miss my teddy." He began to cry. "I can't sleep without   
it."  
"Sshhhh!!" I was panicking now. Everyone will wake up, and I didn't want that.  
Boromir was still crying very loudly. "Oh for god's sake." I rolled my eyes and went over to my bag. I pulled  
out a little blue rabbit. You could call it my lucky charm or something. I looked at Boromir, and  
at the rabbit. At least it might shut him up. I returned to where I was sleeping.  
"Here." I said, holding out the rabbit. "Take it." Boromir stopped crying and looked  
up."You want me to have this?"  
"Yeah." I pushed the rabbit at him. He was lost for words, but I could tell he was  
really pleased with it. I lay down again and closed my eyes. But not for long.  
"I'm cold." By this time it was really late and I was rapidly loosing my patience.  
"Come here." I said. I closed my eyes again. I could hear Boromir breathing loudly.  
"Ummmm, I'm still cold." My eyes snapped open again. I rolled over to face him.  
"Come closer then." So he did.  
"But..." I sighed and put my arms around him.  
"Better?"  
"A bit."  
"Good. Now go to sleep!" I closed my eyes for the fourth time. This time I was lucky.  
----------------------------------  
"Ah ha!!" A voice said above me. Even with my eyes shut I could tell it was Emma.  
I opened my eyes. Yep, I was right. I tried sitting up, but Boromir had moved sometime during  
the night and was now lying on top of me. He was still sound asleep, and I thought it best not to  
wake him. "Well, well, well. You really ARE a fast worker, aren't you Nat?"  
"What DO you mean?" I asked.  
"I mean THAT." she pointed to Boromir. I just KNEW she'd get the wrong idea of the   
situation.  
"He must have moved on me during the night...." I started.  
"Whatever. It is SO obvious what you two were doing." she said smirking at me. I  
threw her a withering look. Emma shook her head and laughed. I scowled. God, she really is  
asking to get her arsed kicked. "Breakfast is ready, by the way." she said.  
"If it's more of that crap we had yesterday...."  
"It's not. We have sausages and bacon and eggs....." she turned and walked off.  
Oh well, here goes nothing. I gently pushed Boromir off me and got up. He stirred slightly and   
put his thumb in his mouth. I went to join Emma and the hobbits.  
-------------------------------  
Ah. Breakfast was good. WAY better than the crap we had last night. God, that was  
AWFUL! Boromir STILL hasn't woken up. Lucky bugger. Hmmmm, I'd better wake him, or else  
Emma and Merry will eat his bit of breakfast.  
--------------------------------  
It is proving more difficult than I thought it would be.  
--------------------------------  
I need to hurry, Merry has already started on the egg.  
--------------------------------  
NO! Emma has the bacon!!  
--------------------------------  
And the tomatoes!!  
--------------------------------  
Merry has the sausages. Oh dear......Boromir's missed his breakfast.   
--------------------------------  
He wakes!!! At last. "I'm hungry." he said, sitting up. I look at him. "What?"   
"Ah....there's a *slight* problem regarding breakfast."  
"Oh. What is it?" his face is full of concern.  
"Well....how do I start...." I sit next to him. "Ummm, Emma and Merry....they,  
erm....ate your breakfast. I'm sorry but you were taking ages to get up......" He looks over at  
Emma and Merry, who are licking their lips.  
"It was SO nice." Emma called.  
" Yeah! Thanks Boromir. We owe you one!"   
"Nevermind." I said to him. "I have something." I pulled out a packet of biscuits that  
Emma and I were going to have as part of our 'picnic in the park'. "They might be a bit squashed.  
But they'll taste good anyhow." I gave him the packet.  
-------------------------------  
Ah. Great. Now we can't actually get into the mines, because you need a password.  
And Gan-da-man has no idea what it could be.   
"Yo! People! I could do wid a lil help here." This, could take some time. 


	13. Freaky dead dwarves!!

Disclaimer: Nope! Still don't own anyone but myself and the DAMN sausage but Merry ate it the little...um sausage eater!! mwhahaha  
  
A/N:   
~~~ To Moria where porno freaks dwell and where there is a dwarf named Mel (dead of course). ~~~   
Tralalalala!! Like the song? I thought so.: ) Wow. Chapter 13 already. Then again they are quite short... oh WELL!  
Thanks to everyone!!!!: P  
  
  
Chapter 13  
Freaky dead Dwarves!!  
  
  
HA! I know what Nat and Boromir are getting up to. Probably hiding from me but I know what their doing. They can't hide from the almighty Emma!  
Dammit! Merry stole my sausage off my plate... well it was Boromir's but I wanted it!! Hmmm... maybe revenge is in order?  
"I know!!!!" Frodo shouted making me jump out of my skin. "What is the Elvish word of friend?"  
"Mellon." Gandy said and the stone doors flung open to reveal the mines.  
Gandy put a glowy stone on his stick... thing while Gimli was babbling on about ale or something to Legolas who was looking around uninterested.   
"And they call it a mine! A mine!!" Gimli laughed and Gandys glowy stick thing lit the room.  
"This isn't a mine! It's a tomb!" Boromir screeched putting a blue bunny in front of his face.  
Wait a minute! Is that fluffles? Oh no. My Bunny is Pink. That must be Nat's.  
"AH!!" I ran out of the mines just as a big ugly thing came out of the water. I hesitated for a moment then ran back into the mines screaming 'Big... ugly... monster thing!!'.  
The others got out there weapons while Nat and I just stood there. After a while I decided I would fire an arrow. I wouldn't hurt would it?  
So I fire an arrow and goes right away from the monster and nearly hit Legolas. Damn I should have took up sword fighting!! All you have to do it stick the damn thing into the baddie!  
I got out my dagger and charged with Nat beside me with her sword. We hacked off some tentacles and nearly got flattened by one as it fell from the air above me. I'll thank Leggy for that later.   
"Die!!!" I yelled stabbing my dagger into the monster.  
After a while Nat and I where pushed inside by Aragorn just before the mines entrance rumbled and caved in behind the fellowship.  
--------------------  
We are surrounded by porno reading Dwarves!!!!! They maybe dead but they are still scary. It's like being stuck in a room with your Maths teacher going on and on and on about algebra all day.   
I shudder and glance about me. Nat is talking to Boromir, Gimli is talking with leggie, Aragorn is talking with Gandalf and the Hobbits are talking between themselves. I'm all alone!  
Hmmm.... maybe I can start up a conversation with Pippin about something. Naw. I'll just stay at the back for now. Wait until someone notices my sad and lonely.  
--------------------------  
Nope still haven't noticed me yet. Oh well!!  
Ah yeah! Where at this hall thing in the city of Darrowdelf. Pretty big I'm telling you!  
All the dead Dwarves have porno mags in there hands. Ack!! Scary or what!  
Anyway back to the story. We are walking though the Hall and Gimli suddenly shouts  
"NO!"  
God! Is everyone trying to scary me out of my wits or something!  
"Gimli! Dude!" Gandy runs after him and so does everyone else. Am I the only person who's tired? Everyone seems to be full of energy.  
We enter this freaky room and there's a freaky stone thingy in the middle where Gimli is crying.  
Ha! Pansy.  
" 'Ere lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria. Ah! He's dead!" Gandy says wiping away the dust on the stone thingy.  
Leggy turns to Aragorn and says "We must move on. We cannot linger."  
"They 'ave taken da bridge, and da second hall. We 'ave barred the gates, but can't   
hold em for long. Da ground shakes. Drums, drums in da deep. We can't get out. A shadow moves in da dark. We can't get out. They are comin'." Gandy says at he reads one of the dwarves diary. That's not nice! Reading someone  
else's diary! Oh well. I do it to Nat all the time. HAHA!  
---------------------------------  
Pippin dropped something down a well and we're all fighting some ugly things now. Ewwwww.  
I stab an Orc with my Dagger and kick it in the shin. Ouch, bad move there. Remember he has armour on. Ouchies.  
If I die I'm blaming it on Pippin! I'm going to haunt you for you rest of your life, Pip!  
Ack! Someone slashed my face. My beautiful face!! You bastard!!!  
I stab the orc who hurt my beautiful face and kicked him in the face.   
"You bastard!!!!! See how you like being hurt in the face!!!!" I yell kicking the shit out of him while kicking other orcs when they got to near.  
Breath! Deep breathing! Ok, I'm cool. 


	14. Slash da orcs!!

Author Disclaimer: Yep, you guessed it, I own nothing, except myself. Deal with it.  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
Orcs are swarming in through the broken door. It's kick ass time! Emma is already  
getting stuck in, literally. Ow, that's gotta hurt. She just stabbed that one in the eye.  
Nasty. I turn around to see a sword speeding towards me. I step to the side just in time to   
avoid it colliding with my head. That. Was close. Crap! Another attack. The sword is coming back  
again. It cuts my arm. Luckily it's not too deep but it still hurt.   
"Hey arsehole! What do ya think ya playing at, eh?!!" I yelled at the orc. He just  
bared his teeth and snarled. "Well, you asked for it." I lifted my sword and began slashing at   
his stomach. The orc stands looking at me in shock. Stupid bugger. I raise my sword again  
and chop off his head. Lovely. I then cut up his arms for good measure.  
"Emma! How about we make this a competition? See how many orcs we can kill."  
"Ok! You're on!" she yelled back. So it begins. I slash a few more orcs. Oohhh,  
heads WILL roll.  
---------------------------  
That little shit of a troll.....erm, BIG shit of a troll is attacking Frodo. Time to  
help him I suppose. I slash a couple more orcs before going to where Frodo is lying on the ground.  
He's been stabbed. Merry and Pippin start stabbing the troll in the back.  
---------------------------  
Hmmmm, that went well. Ah. Time for dead orc counting.   
"I've killed 14." Emma said as she walk over to me.  
"Damn. I've only got 12."  
"Ha ha!! I beat you!! Ew..." Emma had trodden in the pulp that was an arm once.  
"That is gross!! It's like Jack the Ripper or something......" I smile to myself. Emma looks at  
the orc that is lying on the floor in a puddle of blood, head gone and it's insides are all around  
it. "Yuck. You certainly win the prize for most disgusting killings."  
"Thanks."   
----------------------------  
It turns out Frodo isn't dead. That Mithril vest of his kept him safe.  
----------------------------  
"To da Bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf yelled. We all ran out into the cavernous  
hallways. We get surrounded by orcs. Crap and double crap.   
"Look. My bunny got dirty." Boromir said, showing me my rabbit. It used to be a pale  
blue, it was now a dirty grey. "And I got hurt.....see...."   
"Not now Boromir." I said, staring around at the orcs. "Incase you HADN'T noticed,  
we're surrounded by orcs at the moment." I smiled at him. "Maybe later." I said.  
A roar sounds in the distance. The orcs screech and run away.  
"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked, his voice shaking.  
"A balrog." Gandalf answered. Boromir started wimpering.  
"I'm scared again." he said to me. "I don't like this..."  
"Run!!!" Gandalf shouted to us all.  
------------------------------  
We ran.   
------------------------------  
Boromir almost fell off the edge of the path. Luckily, Legolas pulled him away just in  
time. Emma and I helped them up.  
"Lead 'em on Aragorn me homie." Gandy said doing that STUPID pose again.   
"Right." Aragorn nodded and lead us off.  
------------------------------  
Great. We have to cross a gap. Legolas jumps and makes it easily. I'm not surprised.  
What with all that poncing around and stuff......  
------------------------------  
We're all safely across. Well, I say all of us, I mean most of us. Aragorn and Frodo are  
stuck on the other side.  
-----------------------------  
They're across. Now we're running again. God, this is more than the most exercise I  
ever get. It's tough. Crap. The mighty Balrog has made his appearence. Gandy, being the "hard  
man" that he is, is trying to take him on. Brave guy. Did I say brave? God, I meant stupid.  
----------------------------  
"You shall not pass!!" He yells, and brings his stick crashing down on the bridge.  
----------------------------  
There always has to be some flaw with a plan, doesn't there? And the flaw with  
that plan meant that Gan-da-man gets pulled into the abyss with the Balrog. Genius. It really is.  
----------------------------  
Yep. You guessed it. We're running again.  
---------------------------  
The hobbits are all grieving about Gandalf's fall. Merry is comforting Pippin. Sam has  
his head in his hands and is crying. Frodo has disappeared again. Gimli is also crying. I wonder  
why that is.....  
"My magazine....." he wails, "I dropped it when I jumped. And it was the bumper  
edition too....." Aragorn looks at him in disgust. So does Emma. Ah. That's why. Sad, sad  
dwarf. A magazine.....  
--------------------------  
Emma is standing in front of me and she is smirking. "Well, well, well...." she began.  
"Three holes in a ground." I finished. She threw me a withering look which I   
returned. "I saw you. And you can't deny it. I saw you giving Boromir a game of the ole Tonsil   
Hockey ." She pointed to the rock where Boromir was still sitting. He was watching us closely.   
I laughed.  
"Whatever."  
"I did. I watched you." A smile suddenly crossed my face. "What.....? I don't  
like the way you're smiling at me Nat."  
"You said you were 'watching'."  
"Yes......NO!" I smirked.  
"Dear me Emma. You're getting as bad as Gimli." I shook my head. "Never would  
have expected it of you, of ALL people." Emma blushed and walked off. I laughed at her. I'd  
got her. FINALLY I'd got my revenge. Well.....kind of. There's a LOT more where that came  
from. 


	15. Of glowing Elves and little voices in my...

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own anyone but myself and my salt and vinegar crisps I have here.  
  
  
A/N: Hmmmmmmmm....yehhhhh. Sorry Iv got nothing to say.lol  
OH YE  
"_"= Talking out loud.  
*_* = Galadriel speaking into our minnnnnnnndddd...oooooooohhh :) lol  
  
  
Chapter 15  
Of glowing Elves and little voices in my head!  
  
Emma POV  
  
We where walking, walking, oh and walking some more until we got to the wood of Lorien. Very pretty place if I don't say so myself.  
Anyway we where walking though the golden wood as legolas calls it.  
"Stay close, young hobbits. They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell, and are never seen again" Gimli pushes all the hobbit to the front of the line.  
*Emma*  
Hang on. Was that me, thinking my name, or was that...  
*I know where you are from, Emma*  
"ACK!" I yell making everyone turn to me. "Ahem... sorry."  
"Well, here's one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily! I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox!" Gimli says just as loads of Elves point there... pointy arrows at us.  
"The dwarf breaths so loud we could have shot him in the dark." An elves says walking over o them.  
"Haldir o Lórien. Henion aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn." Aragorn says showing off. Ha! I can speak Elvish... kinda. OK, so maybe a line but that counts as knowing Elvish doesn't it? Probably not.  
"Aragorn, these woods are perilous! We should go back!" Screeches Gimli.  
"You have entered the realm of the lady of the wood. You cannot go back." He turns to Frodo. "Come. She is waiting."  
-----------------------------------------  
The is SO bloody cool but what I didn't know is the ALL Elves have frilly dresses on just like legolas'. God, I wouldn't like to be an Elf. I hate dresses. Even the male Elves have dresses on. I just thought Legolas was a girl or something!!  
I smile at the thought of male and dresses in the same sentence as we climb this massive tree house thing. It hasn't even got hand rails! I just looked over the edge and we are HIGH up. Eek.  
I keep walking up the steps for god knows the reason why and after 5 minutes of climbing we got to a platform thing and Galadriel and Celeborn where descending these white steps.  
Ack! I need sunglasses. These glowing Elves are hurting my eyes.  
"Eight there are here, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him." Celeborn says looking around the fellowship.  
"He has fallen into shadow." She says looking at Nat and then at Aragorn. "The quest stands upon the edge of a knife; stay but a little and it will fail, to be ruin for all." She turns to Boromir and he bows his head. She turned to Sam and smiled. "Yet hope remains while the company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now, and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace."  
She turned to me with a serious face. *I know why you are here. I know where you are from*  
Oh my god. I'm going insane. There's a little voice in my head. 


	16. And so he passes from this world....

Author Disclaimer: Hmmmmm, no. Not mine.  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
"Hey! Turn down the lights PLEASE!" Celeborn looked at me disapprovingly. Galadriel  
just smiled.  
*I know what you're thinking.....*  
*Really? Is that so?*  
*They are angry thoughts Natasha...*  
*Hey lady! NO-ONE calls me by my full name. That includes you.*  
*I'd say that you would be easily corrupted by the one Ring...*  
*And I'd say it's time for you to close your pie-hole.* She looked rather put out. So  
I'm pleased. Galadriel- nil. Nat- one.  
--------------------------  
Lorien isn't such a bad place really, once you ignore all the elves wearing dresses, but   
then you're fine. Hmmmm, it seems that Galadriel is a pot head. I mean she looks stoned out of  
her mind.........  
--------------------------  
All is so peaceful, the singing of the elves, just the general beauty of it all.....And  
that means that Boromir, being the 'romantic' bloke that he is, is taking me for another walk.  
It's like a repeat of Rivendell, me holding his arm....walking along together......you get the  
picture. On our 'romantic walk' we spotted Emma looking in Galadriel's Mirror. Well, she calls  
it a mirror, but everyone KNOWS that it's a bird bath. Hmmmm, Granny Galads doesn't look  
too happy about it.  
"I know what you saw.....you dirty little girl! Be off with you!!" Emma ran off  
giggling. I REALLY don't want to know what she saw. Probably something invoving Frodo or  
Aragorn. Gross.  
-------------------------  
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Boromir said.  
"I guess."  
"You look nice..." Oh PLEASE! Don't give me that old one again. Ok, be nice to him.   
I smile. That should do the trick.....  
-------------------------   
"Um. Boromir...Do you think we're being watched?" I asked, looked around. He  
shook his head.  
"No." I'm still not convinced though.  
-------------------------  
Ok, now he keeps trying to get closer to me. I'm getting kinda freaked now.....  
-------------------------  
"Uh, what are you doing?" Boromir blushes.  
"I was......erm........I was......." I know perfectly well what he's after. I look him  
in the eye.  
"You want a kiss?" He nodded. A small squeak came from the bush in front of us.  
Must be a mouse. Hmmmm. Do they even HAVE mice here? "God. All you had to do was ask."  
-------------------------  
Closer......closer.....  
-------------------------  
I'm impressed. He's quite a good kisser. I'd never have expected it of someone who still  
has a cuddly toy and sucks his thumb. He's really getting into this now.....Heh heh....The  
fun is just beginning....  
-------------------------  
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! A flash has just lit up our little area. We spring  
apart.   
"What was that?" Boromir asked.  
"I don't....." It dawned on me. "Flash.....Camera. Oh crap..."  
"What's wrong?"  
"It's nothing. It's just someone took a photo of us...." Emma jumps out of the bush.  
I roll my eyes. What a surprise. She REALLY is determined, isn't she?  
"HA! I have now got photographic evidence that you were kissing him." She smirks.  
"See. I TOLD you we were being watched." I sigh. "Why do you keep doing this?  
Is it to make a point?" I asked her.  
---------------------------  
Next day, Emma is STILL not leaving off. I am starting to think that she doesn't get  
out enough.  
---------------------------  
Off again. This time in boats. Great.  
---------------------------  
We all got presents from Galadriel, I say all of us, I mean everyone except Emma and  
me. Frodo got some crappy star, big wow. Emma seems impressed with it. I think I'll leave her  
to it.  
---------------------------  
We've landed. And Frodo has disappeared. As a matter of fact, so has Boromir.  
---------------------------  
Emma is flirting with Aragorn, even though she KNOWS he's going out with Ditzy.  
The strange thing is.....It's ACTUALLY working. Bloody hell, what IS the world coming to?  
---------------------------  
I'm getting bored now. So I get up and leave 'em to it.  
---------------------------  
Who's that?  
---------------------------  
Oookkkk. Boromir is on the floor, crying. Riiigggghhttt. Better sort it out then.  
---------------------------  
Frodo has run away. Brilliant. Damn the stupid bugger.  
---------------------------  
I walk off.  
----------------------------  
(AN: My breathing is getting increasing frequent now. Calm. God I hate this bit....)  
The horn of Gondor. Boromir is in trouble!! Shit!  
-----------------------------  
Bollocks. The stupid bastard orc is bearing down on Boromir. I notice that he has  
three arrows in his chest. I feel a sudden wave of anger come over me.   
"OI!! A-HOLE!" I march over to him. He snarls and points his bow towards me.  
I raise my eyebrows. "Oh. So you want a piece of me. Bring it on Ugly!"  
-----------------------------  
Thank god. Aragorn has arrived to finish the twat off. Boromir is lying on the floor.  
I go over to him. (AN: Oh shit. I'm gonna start crying....)  
-----------------------------  
Aragorn comes over too. He talks with Boromir.  
(AN: I'm increasingly getting worse....)  
-----------------------------  
"I would have followed you, my brother, my captain, my king." I can't take it any  
longer. I cry my eyes out. (AN: I am shaking really badly now.) Boromir dies. I look up at Aragorn and  
the others. Something inside me snaps. I grab my sword. Everyone is looking at me.  
"Bye. It's been nice knowing you." I raise the sword and stab myself in the stomach.  
Well, that WOULD have happened if Aragorn hadn't stopped me.  
"You mother fucker!!" I screamed and I ran away. Not very far. Only back to the boats.   
But at least I'm on my own. I think I'm going psycho......But I don't care....The bastards  
deserve to die.....And I'm gonna be the one who makes sure of it. 


	17. Pain, Sadness, honour and flirting!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but myself.  
  
A/N: To depressed to make this funny. Poor Boromir. I'll try and make it funny but I doubt it will turn out that way.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 17  
Pain, Sadness, honour and flirting!  
  
Emma POV  
  
"Be at peace, Son of Gondor." Aragorn said after Boromir's heart stopped beating. My eyes drifted to Aragorns arse. Hmmm nice arse. NO! Boromirs just died you prat! You should be comforting Nat not thinking of Aragorns arse!   
I go to the where we left the boats and Nat was there.  
Nat's eyes where glazed with unshead tears and she was shaking violently. I frowned and hugged her.  
"Don't worry Nat. We'll get the bastards that did this and we'll strangle the lot of them with there own intestines!" I yelled pulling away from her.   
-------------------------------  
We watched as boromir floated down the river in a boat and Nat was crying her eyes out. Poor kid.  
Aragorn strapped on Boromir's Gondor braces tightly and his frown deeped. Legolas Prances to the boat and pushes it into the river.  
"Hurry! Frodo and Sam, have reached the eastern shore!" Legola realised, finally, the that aragorn wasn't coming to the boat. "You mean not to follow?"  
"Frodo's fate is not longer in our hands."  
"Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship has failed." Gimli says grimaching. Wow! He's not reading his book!?! Oh god! FREAKY!  
"Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind, we travel light." Aragorn said pushing his dagger into its sheath. "Lots hunt some Orc!"  
Leggy, sex strider (aragorns nickname ;) ) and...Gimli ran off into the wood leaving Nat and I there.  
"Come on. We have to go." I said pulling Nats arm.   
"Can I just have sometime on my own please?" Her voice was ragged and shakey as she looked, still, at the waterfall where Boromirs boat had gone over a few minutes before.  
"Er... yeh sure." I left up to the other guys while Nat still looked at the waterfall.  
Oh god! She was being polite! She is seriously upset.  
----------------------------------  
Oh fuck. We're walking. AGAIN!! Ah well least we're resting more in the nightime.  
I think where lost to. AGAIN!!  
I' getting pissed and I think Nat is to. Shit. I need to hide! You don't want to know what she did last time she was pissed off bad ways. She nearly broke a boys nose for saying stufff about her. God that was nasty.  
Anyway. I forgive Aragorn because he's to sexy to be mad at. Nat has other ideas.  
"Where the hell are we now, Rangerboy!! You've got us lost... again I might add!!" Yelled Nat making Leggy put hes hands over his sensitive ears.  
"Er... well I know where in Rohan!" Aragorn said quickly. HA! He's scared... oh I mean. Owww he's scared, poor dear. HAHAHA!  
"Well THAT helps!!"  
Aragorn recovered from the attack from Nat (he didn't get smacked!! Lucky bastard!) as she stormed back over to mewith a face that could scare the bravest of men... or Elves or Dwarves or Hobbits or whatever. It's a scarey face, OK?!?!  
-----------------------------------------  
Ew! We found some orcs while we where walking. Yuk.  
After the guys argued about something (god knows what) we where on our way as we found no sign of the hobbits anywhere with the ugly thing... oh not Gimli, the orcs! HAHA!!!  
----------------------------------------  
Oh god! Leggys showing off and says he can see those big arse eagles they have here.  
Talk about rubbing it in!!!  
"Yeah, Leggy. Us mere mortals can't see the bloody eagle!! Are we rescueing the Hobbits or are we going birdwatching!!?!?!"  
I think leggy wa taken back by my out burst. Serves him bloody right!! Stupid bastard.  
So we walked on.  
"Stay!" Aragorn shouted making all but Leggy jump in surprise. Stupid man! "Do not follow me yet." He said following the bruised and blacked grass of Rohan that the orcs left behind. He stopped and picked up a shining thing from the ground.  
" It is an brooch from an Elven-cloak!" He stated.  
"No shit sherlock." Nat mutter beside me making me smile. But only a while. I love my sexy beast. HAHA!  
"It's Pippin's. His footprints are smaller than Merry's." Aragorn said bring the brooch back to us.  
Gimli looked over his 'book' (when did he start reading THAT again? Your guess is as good as mine!) and said.  
"Then he at least was alive. This is hearting. We don't pursue in vain!"  
"Let's just hope he did not pay to dearly for his boldness." Leggy said. "Come! Lets us go on!"  
--------------------------------------  
OUCH! I think I'v got blisters on my feet.  
Just then Aragorn halted. I felt like kissing him... well I feel like kissing him away but.... you know.  
Nat and I sit down on the ground and take off our shoes. GOD DAMN! I don't know about Nat's but my feet are all puffy and nasty. Ouch and they kill! I decided, we need horses.  
The lads are arguing again and they decided we should sleep though the next instead of following. Of course no one asked us! Typical males.  
--------------------------------------  
I was awoken by Leggy screaming something about 'Something awaits us and strange things'  
"Yeah Leggy! I know what Gimli looks like in the morning." I mutter turning over to see sexy beast (Aragorn) looking down at me.  
"Emma, we must go."  
"Yeah yeah. Tell Legolas over there to keep his knickers on already." I said putting my shoes back on with great difficulty.  
After a few minutes... guess what.... yep we where walking again! 


	18. I see dead people.

Author Disclaimer: Let's see. Hmmm, nope. Not mine.  
  
  
AN: I'm gonna cut down the swearing just for you Cimmy. That'll make you happy, won't it?  
Hmmm, maybe.  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
God, why does this quest involve so much walking? Hmm, that's probably because  
that's what you do on these things. I really shouldn't have said that we would come along.  
----------------------------  
Emma is chatting up Aragorn, AGAIN! What is with her? Mind you, she probably  
thought the same way when I was with Boromir. Poor guy. He really didn't deserve that.  
I look at the ground and sigh. No-one deserves that.....even the worst of people....I will avenge  
though. You mark my word....  
---------------------------  
"You're still upset, aren't you?" Emma chirped. She's made progress with Aragorn,  
I can tell.  
"Well duh." I replied.  
"That must really hurt." She said. Emma hasn't exactly got the hang of tact. I shall  
give her lessons one of these days....."I mean, it's not exactly a nice way to go, is it?" I   
face her.  
"Look. I haven't had much sleep and the quest is REALLY getting on my nerves. So   
don't mess with me." I snapped.  
"Hey. I was trying to be nice..." Hmmmm, 'nice' isn't the word I would have chosen.  
More like 'rubbing it in'.  
-----------------------------  
Oh my god....I think I'm going mad. I keep seeing HIM everywhere. But that ISN'T  
possible, he went over the waterfall in the boat. He is DEAD. Maybe it's through lack of sleep.  
Yeah, tiredness often makes you hallucinate, doesn't it?  
-----------------------------  
Oh yay. Aragorn is talking with these 'Riders of Rohan'. Emma seems impressed.  
Yet again. I shake my head. Is it just me or does she fancy just about every single bloke  
we've come across on this journey so far. Journey? Yeah, journey to hell. I walk away from them   
and sit on my own.  
-----------------------------  
I'm getting freaked now...There he is again. I close my eyes and take deep breaths.  
I open my eyes and he's gone...  
------------------------------  
This is boring. How long do they have to take? God.....  
------------------------------  
I get up and walk around a bit. I look over at Aragorn and the others. Still talking.  
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a figure. I turn. No....It's him again. I frown and  
walk to where he is. Now that I'm closer, I can see he's semi-transparent. Oh god....I'm going  
mad! I turn and walk quickly away from the 'hallucination'. But something is drawing me back,  
I can't explain what, but it is.  
-----------------------------  
Emma's looking for me, I can hear her calling my name.....  
*Go.* I shake my head.  
"No...."  
*Just go!*  
"I will see you again, won't I?"  
*You will....I'll find you, don't worry. Now you better not keep your friend waiting...*  
"NAT!! There you are! God, I was looking for you for about an hour." Yeah whatever.  
You probably were flirting with Aragorn until it dawned on you that I had gone. Only THEN do  
you come looking for me.  
------------------------------  
"God Nat. You're so pale. You look as if you've seen a ghost." That. Is probably because  
I have. But there's no use telling her that. She'll just think I'm mad.....  
"Nat? What's wrong?"  
"Nothing."  
"There is. I can tell." I sigh. Well, here goes nothing. If she doesn't believe me then   
fine."I saw him." I begin.  
"Saw who?"  
"Boromir." Emma looks at me oddly. What did I tell you?   
"Sure you did."  
"I did."  
"Whatever."  
"I DID." I yell at her.   
"Right. I know you've been through a lot just recently, but that's no reason to make  
stuff up. He's dead Nat. Dead. You can't see him." I narrow my eyes. She'll find out in due  
time....A small smile flickers across my face. And it isn't going to be pleasent when she does.... 


	19. It's all these buckles!! AHHHH!! Bigfoot...

Disclaimer: No still don't own Lord of the Rings and all the characters in there but me.  
  
A/N: I'll try not to put to much cussing in my chapters. Just for you Cimmykins! Our loyal fan! ; )  
Thanks to everyone whos reveiwed. :)  
  
  
Chapter 19  
It's all these buckles!! AHHHH!! Bigfoot!  
  
  
Emma's POV  
  
  
Ack! Stupid horses. I can't put the tack on. It's much easier at home. All these buckles and ties. URGH! This is useless, I swear.  
When finally I get the bloody bridle on very one is set up and ready to go. I sign and quickly get the saddle on before Aragorn shouts at me for being slow. God, I'm starting to hate him.  
Anywho, I jump on the horse and we ride off into the sunset. Well not quite. It's not even the afternoon yet so we just ride off... somewhere.  
------------------------  
As we rode a spread of, what looked like, chestnut trees came into sight in the distance and the night came in around us.  
Hmmm. Must be Fangorn forest. Celeborn told us not to go in there... but what does he know.  
We got off the horses and Aragorn, Leggylooroll and Gimli strode over to where some footprints where and started arguing. Quite funny really.  
I'm getting quite worried about Nat. She hasn't eaten anything, her skin is pale and he keeps talk to herself. I think the death of Boromir made her go totally mad. She says she can see Boromir. Riiiiiggghhttt.  
When we go home I'll have to put Nat into a mental hospital. You know, with the padded walls and straight jackets.  
She's glaring at me. I'm getting quite scared now. EK!  
I get up and quickly walk over to where the others are.   
"You have journeyed further than I." Said Legolas. "I have heard nothing of this in my own land, save only songs that tell how the Onodrim, that the men called Ents, dwelt here long ago; for Fangorn is old, old even as the Elves would reckon it."  
"Yes, it is old," Agreed Aragorn, "as old as the forest by Barrow-Downs, and is far greater. Elrond says the two are akin, the last strongholds of the mighty woods of Elder days, in which the Firstborn roamed while men still slept. Yet Fangorn holds some secret of it's own."  
I sigh. Well THIS is a heated discussion isn't it. I start daydreaming about Frodo when suddenly someone pokes me in the arm making me fall off the rock I was sitting on. Ouch.  
"Emma, 'Tis yours and Nat's turn to watch over the camp tonight." He's stated looking down at me. I scoff and he shoots a glare at me.  
"OK OK. Don't get your knickers in a twist!" Aragorn just looks at me funny. I think it's supposed to be a glare but it looks more like he's got constipation.  
-----------------------  
Nat and I are sitting on a rock facing away from the camp. I'm getting quite freaked. Nat is talking to herself again. Something about the weather? I don't know but she's still freaking me out.  
----------------------  
Er.... did I see what I think I saw? Is there any white fluffy bears around in Middle Earth at all? Hmmmm. Okayyyyyy. I think I'm going mad too. I saw a ... well, THING in the bushes over there and it was all white and fluffy. It was to big to be my pet rabbit.   
I sit there for a few minutes in silence as Nat is still talking to herself when a BIG fluffy, white thing came out the bushes.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! BIGFOOT!!" I scream getting up quickly to wake up Aragorn.   
Thankfully, he awoke when I was screaming my head off and stood up in only his batman jammies. Er.... is that normal having Batman jammies when your over 9? I didn't even know they came in his size! No body seemed to notice but Nat and I who where giggling.  
"Well, father, what can we do you for?" said Aragorn, "Come and be warm, if you are cold."  
He walked over to him but he was gone. Okkkkk. Hmmmmm... reminds me of someone but I can't remember who. Gimli said it might be Saruman. Could be!  
"The horses! The horse!!" Leggy screamed jumping up and down in a nightdress. I scoff. God, people wear weird things to bed around here don't they.  
Then it hit me. ACK! Where going to have to walk again!! 


	20. Gan-da-man returns......Aragorn gets con...

Author Disclaimer: Not mine!!  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
We're heading deeper into Fangorn. It's getting darker and creepier as we go further.  
I only hope to god that Ranger Boy doesn't get us lost. I don't like the feel of these woods.....  
I can't explain what it is......but there's something about them which isn't 'normal'.  
--------------------------  
Emma is giving me a wide berth. She thinks I'm crazy. Personally I don't blame her.  
It also seems that she's lost interest in my good friend Strider. Ah well. Not my problem is it?  
Leggy is still poncing around, will he EVER learn? Gimli is just being a freak. No change there.  
--------------------------  
She's doing it again! Emma has been casting nervous glances at me for the last half  
an hour. I go over to her.  
"What?!" I snap.  
"Nothing."  
"Then why do you keep looking at me then?!"  
"Well, to be honest. I'm worried about you Nat."  
"Why?"  
"You haven't eaten a thing since.....you know who died....." Is that Emma trying  
to be tactful?!  
"So what?"  
"You're making yourself ill......You could die!" A look of fear passed over her face.  
I leered at her.  
"To be honest.....I really don't care." And with that I walked off.  
-----------------------------  
We've stopped for a rest. I sit well away from the rest of the group. Gimli has engrossed  
himself in his 'special' magazine, i.e Porno for dwarves. I gaze into the trees. He's there again.   
I can see him. He's standing.....waiting for me.......I screw my eyes shut. I can feel the tears   
running down my face. I open my eyes. Even through the blur, I can see that he's gone again.   
-----------------------------  
An old man has just come and joined the group. He seems strangely familiar.....  
-----------------------------  
Of course! It's dear old Gan-da-man. Why?! I reckon he's just come back to annoy  
us with his 'Yo me homies' junk.  
-----------------------------  
It appears that Gandy is going to get us some horses. Big wow.  
-----------------------------  
Oh look. My dear 'friend' Strider is coming over to have a talk with me.  
-----------------------------  
He sits beside me. I throw him a withering look before turning my back on him.  
-----------------------------  
There is something on my leg. I look down. It's Strider's hand. I grab him by the wrist  
and remove his hand from my leg. What does he think he's playing at? The loser.  
-----------------------------  
He's doing it again. This time he's going one step further. This is too much. I slap  
him as hard as I can. Worked exactly as I'd planned. He removes his hand.   
"What are you doing freak? You have Ditzy who you can do that to."  
"Are you always this mean to him?" I do a double take.   
"Excuse me?"  
"Are you always this mean to Aragorn?"  
"What ARE you talking about?" Aragorn smiles.   
"I'm Boromir."  
"No. You're Aragorn."  
"I'm not. It's Boromir."  
"Noooooo. You're ARAGORN. You love ARWEN. REMEMBER????" The freak. And  
I thought I was mad......I was wrong. There IS someone madder than me. Wow. That is  
AMAZING.  
-------------------------------  
Weeelllll. Maybe I was wrong. It seems Boromir likes to play practical jokes on people.  
He could have told me at least that he was going to do something like that....  
-------------------------------  
"I'm going to have a LOT of fun with this." 'Aragorn' said grinning broadly. I bet he  
will. Taking over his body and making him do embarrassing stuff. Sure. Good fun.  
-------------------------------  
Emma's talking to Gandalf. She's looking my direction.  
"I think we're going."  
"Ah. Ok. I'll be seeing you again sometime."  
"Yeah." 'Aragorn' embraced me tightly.   
-------------------------------  
Aragorn didn't half look confused when he found himself hugging me. You should  
have seen his face. I couldn't help laughing. That's the first time I've done that in a LONG   
time.  
------------------------------  
Oh no. I've just realised that Emma will get TOTALLY the wrong idea of it. Again.  
Stuff her. She can believe what she likes. I don't care. As long as it doesn't involve Gimli.....  
or Legolas......or Gandalf....Erghhh. Not good.  
------------------------------  
We're up and headed for the capital of Rohan to see the King. I BET he's a boring  
old fart. We'll see when we get there shall we? 


	21. Crazy poems and the Capital of Rohan

Disclaimer: NOPE! Don't own LotR, Tolkien does. *bows to the master*  
  
A/N: Tralalalala!!!!! OH hullllllllloooooo there, little and big ones!!(you never know who's reading :D)  
Thanks to EVERYONE for R/R and if you haven't pleassssssseeeeeeee!!!!!!!! ;)  
  
  
Chapter 21  
Crazy poems and the capital of Rohan.  
  
  
Emma POV  
  
Urgh. I'm started to HATE riding which is weird because I'm pretty good at it if I don't say so myself. Hehehehe. Anywho, I don't like riding anymore because my arse is killing me!  
I shuffle in the saddle a bit and looked up to Gandy who is talking to Leggy, Aragorn and Gimli beside me.  
"To me homie, Aragorn, I was told to say:  
Where now are da Dunedain, Elessar, Elessar?  
Why do da kinsfolk wander afar?  
Near is da hour when da lost shall come forth,  
And da Grey Company ride from da north.  
But dark is da path given to thee:  
Da Dead ................"  
I fall asleep on my horse and by some work of magic I manage to stay on its back!  
-------------------------------------  
I wake up and suddenly Nat screams into my ear.  
"EMMA!! GET YOUR FAT ARSE UP AND LISTEN!!"  
I nearly fall out the saddle. God! Scare me to death why don't you! Nat pokes me and points to Gandy.  
"To Emma-Louise I was told ta say:..." Oh god. Am I in trouble?!?! Why is he using my full name!!Urgh! "... When a friend is gone now will ya cope?  
At da end of dis peril there will be hope.  
Love will come unexpected and small,  
But his heart and love for you will grow tall.  
To Natasha I was to say:  
When love is gone is it not a loss,  
In da future your paths will always cross.  
When a person from da past comes to thee,  
Ya will meet him willingly."  
Er.... I was sleeping when gand-da-man was saying this was important. So, being who I am, I went back to sleep.  
------------------------------------  
A sharp pain in my head indicated to me that I had fallen off my horse and I was now on the ground... ouch.  
The light was growing bright when we arrived at our destination and Nat thought I would be funny to push me off my horse. HAR HAR! She's so funny that I almost forgot to laugh!  
I growl and get off the floor with Nat laughing her head off at me.  
Ah well. Least she's not talking to herself. Maybe the little poem Gandy recited for her made her cheer up somewhat.  
Anywho! We arrived at the gates of Edoras and Gandy had a go at the gatekeeper for not knowing him. I wouldn't blame him! This man is really rude! I'm in the right mind to smack him one round the face and make him say sorry!   
I scoff and the Gatekeeper looked at me with a face of disgusted.  
"You brought women with you?!?!" He said looking at Nat with the same face.  
OH NO! I look back at Nat and her face is red with anger. Oh he's going to get random beatings now!  
--------------------------  
After a broken nose and a red hand mark on his face he let us in saying we have to leave our weapons behind.  
I'm OK with that. Not sure Aragorn will be. He loves his bloody sword and he named it and all. Pretty sad if you asked me.   
--------------------------  
I'm getting impatient! Aragorn is being a... well, man he is and not giving his sword to the person at the door. I shout at him and it works. I smile to myself.  
We all go inside after that little episode and WOW. BIG hall.  
Then, suddenly, Gandalf shouts.  
"Hail, Theoden son of Thengel! I have returned! For behold! The storm comes, and now all friends should gather together!"  
Is everyone surpposed to frighten me out of my skin?!?! URGH! It gets kind of old after awhile! 


	22. Falling out of the ugly tree....yes, I D...

Author Disclaimer: It still ain't mine.  
  
I'm going on holiday 4 a week so I won't be updating for a while.  
  
:~:~:~:~= dream  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
I was right!! I'm GOOD!!! Theoden IS an old fart. I'm sure his lecture isn't  
anything important, so I think I'll take a nap......  
----------------------------  
~:~:~:~Sauron.........Blood.........Fire........Ring........Power......Kill......   
Frodo....:~:~:~:~  
----------------------------  
Emma is shaking me.  
"Wake up!!!!" I open my eyes slowly. Everyone is staring at me. "You were shouting."  
"I was?"  
"Yeah. Something about Sauron, and killing Frodo and taking the Ring...." The   
stupid dream. Now everyone's gonna think I'm evil. I get up. My back is killing me. Mind you,  
I was leaning against something sharp when I dropped off. They're all looking at me still.  
"Hey!! Shows over! Time to quit staring." I shouted at them. Doesn't anyone around   
here know it's rude to stare? Don't think so. Maybe they don't have that in Middle Earth.  
----------------------------  
A man storms into the room. He looks around wildly.   
"Who's that?" I ask Emma. She shrugs.  
"I dunno. But that girl behind the throne is Eowyn." I snort. "What?"  
"Nothing."  
-----------------------------  
Erghh. Would you just look at that creep. He's got pale skin and red rimmed eyes.  
He looks as if he's taken a nose dive out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.  
In other words, he has a face like a rats' ass. Not that I look at rats' asses or anything.  
------------------------------  
Wormtongue.......yep. That suits him. Slimy and worthless......And the man is called  
Eomer. Sad name or what? He's Eowyn's brother. And he's a minger!!!! Emma is checking him  
out.  
"Oohhh. He's cute." She squeals.  
"He's a poof. Look at the way he stands and listen to him talking." I said.  
"He's cute anyway." I roll my eyes.  
------------------------------  
We're back on the horses and headed for Helms Deep. Don't like the sound of that  
place either. Bet it's dark and gloomy. Oh, and I found out why Fangorn was creepy. It's coz  
the Ents live there or something. Erghhhh, tree people. Like that old granny tree off that stupid   
Disney film....what's it called? Oh yeah, Pocahontas. I shudder. I HATE that film. It's SO   
annoying.  
------------------------------  
We're in Hhelms Deep. And as I predicted, it's dark and gloomy. Something isn't  
right here....And I'm not the only one to sense that either.  
-------------------------------  
Orcs. Orcs everywhere. They're standing on the walls, leering down on us. I feel a   
fight coming on......... 


	23. The unthinkable

Author Disclaimer: Nope, ain't mine.  
  
Emma's POV:  
Oh god! Oh heaven help us! I'm going to die!   
I pull out an arrow from the quiver and join the archers at that wall. I notch it into my bow trying   
to keep as low as possible so I wouldn't get shot in the neck or head or what ever.   
Oh god! Think HAPPY thoughts Emma. You know, with bunnies and all... but its kinda HARD   
to think HAPPY thoughts when there 10,000 Uruk- hai standing outside the walls!! Darn it,  
I'm gonna die!!! Ok. Breath. Shut off all unpleasent thoughts, and just listen for orders.  
Finally this person gives the word that we should shoot the buggers...well not in those   
words but you know what I mean. Well...this is it. I breath deeply and stand up, unleash the   
arrow from the bow and do it again and again straight at the ugly mongs. And if I do say so   
myself, it was pretty accurate. Well, that's not entirely true. About half of them landed   
elsewhere, but hey, who's complaining?  
After a bit my quiver was empty and I ran along the wall to see Nat cutting Uruk- hai   
from the walls as they were climbing up the ladders and ropes the that attacted to them.   
"This is NOT what I expected to be doing in the summer holidays!" She yells over the noise.   
"Nor me!" I smiled slicing an orcs head off with my dagger. Ergh. I do NOT like to use swords  
in battle. It means getting covered in blood. So I steal some arrows from the archer beside me   
and start firing.   
-------------------------------------   
I jumped down to the ground from the wall without breaking my leg. I'm still not sure how I   
managed it. Nat did the same. The Uruk- hai were trying to bash down Helms gate but the old   
iron hinges were strong and didn't give way. Nat was already in the midst of things, kicking   
Uruk-hai ass. I, meanwhile, was standing in a corner breathing deeply and my eyes closed shut.   
I was not going to get involved in more fighting.  
"I wasn't meant to fight ugly things! I was supposed to sit watching TV and pig out on chocolate."   
I mumbled. A scream filled the air and my eyes flew open. What I saw made me drop my bow   
that I was clutching onto like my life depended on it.   
Oh god!!! No! Nat was lying on the floor, not moving.  
I race to her side. I could clearly see two arrows are sticking out of her chest. A single tear   
slides down my face.   
"Nat! Nat!!! Are you OK?!?!!?!" I said quietly.  
No answer. I was to late. Deep inside, I knew that she was dead, but I didn't want to believe it.  
"Oh my god!" I shook her violently. "Nat, if this is one of your jokes I WILL kill you!!!"   
Then it hit me. My best friend in the whole world has died before I could even get to her. I   
never even said goodbye. I felt the tears coming. I didn't bother to stop them. I cried. At least  
she's gone to a better place.  
I scowled and grabbed her sword, killing the ugly buggers that managed to climb over the wall.   
I wiped the tears away from my face, and began to cut up the evil tossers.  
--------------------------------------   
"It's the white rider!!!!!!" Someone screamed pointing over the wall and into the distance.   
Who's that?   
I looked over the wall and saw Gandy riding on a grey horse towards Helm Deep. Orcs and   
Uruk-Hai ran away when they saw him. Personally I don't blame them. If I saw an Ali G wannabe  
riding towards me, I'd run as fast as my legs would allow me in the opposite direction.  
Hmmm, I wish I had the same affect as Gan-da-man has on the Uruk-hai. Then again I want to   
kill them so maybe I don't.  
---------------------------------------  
I stand over Nats' body, my head bowed. The rest of the group are doing the same.  
Leggy is being a pansy, and is not coming over because he's scared of the blood ruining his dress-  
thing. Even Aragorn is paying his repects, which is VERY unusual, coz normally he doesn't give  
a monkeys' ass about Nat.  
"She iz gone to a better place." Gandy said. I heard someone choke back a sob.   
"Nat has passed from dis world. I only hope dat she finds peace." I'm REALLY sure Nat would  
be pissing herself laughing if she could hear the stuff that people are coming out with. I'm  
going to miss having her around. Her sarcastic comments, her constant teasing. Even her not-funny  
practical jokes. I sighed. I only wish I could have said goodbye.   
"At least she's with Boromir." I said. "She cared deeply about him, and I know she'll  
be happy to see him again." Everyone nodded in agreement.  
--------------------------------------  
We're heading off. I say my final goodbye to Nat before following Aragorn away from  
the battlefield. It's like leaving a part of me behind. She was like the big sister I never had.  
My emotions are all over the place. I'm sad because I lost a friend. But then I'm happy because I   
know she's going to be reunited with a loved one.   
"Take good care of her Boromir." I whisper to the air around me in hope that he'd   
somehow hear me. I'm sure I heard a soft voice replying, though it was probably just the wind  
in the trees. I smiled. She'll be ok. I know she will. 


	24. What the ? Where the hell am I?

Author Disclaimer: Not mine!!!  
  
Nat's POV.  
  
I'm rushing down what appears to be a long grey tube. The air is whipping through  
my hair and at my face. It feels like hands are slapping me. After what seems an age, I shoot  
out the end and land in a heap on the floor.  
"90995 has just arrived." I look up to see an old man holding a quill and parchment.  
"Hello!" A young girl of about 16 had just entered the room by drifting through the   
wall. What?! Oh yeah. I died at Helms Deep. Damn. That sucks.   
"I'm Éodwyn." the girl chirped.  
"Er...right. That's nice to know."   
"Isn't it just?" She'd missed the sarcasm. "How about I show you around the place?"  
"Um...ok." I had no idea what to say. "That's cool with me." The girl beamed.  
"Great!" And she left through the wall. I hesitated before following her.  
----------------------------------  
The guided tour was totally unnecessary and extremly boring. Éodwyn kept listing all  
the people we met.  
"That's Isildur." Éodwyn said pointing to a man with long black hair which looked  
rather greasy. I watched him slap this womans' ass, only to get a smack round the  
face back. "Yeah. He's looking for a new girl. With no sucess." Éodwyn laughed. I forced a  
smile and we continued the tour. I can't take much more of this! She is SO boring!! And SO  
not funny. I'm considering running off if this doesn't get better soon. I'm going to sink into  
submission and let her lead me around.......  
----------------------------------  
"Oh. Hello Boromir." My heart skipped a beat. "This is Boromir." she said brightly.  
"I.....I know."  
"You've met before?"  
"Yeah." I looked at him and smiled.   
"How did you two get to know each other?" Éodwyns' face was eager to know the   
details. I exchanged glances with Boromir before explaining.  
"Well. We met at Rivendell. This is where we began the quest to destroy the One   
Ring."  
"Oooohh." Éodwyn said excitedly. "What happened next?"  
"Er....we go on the quest with Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam the Hobbits. Aragorn  
the Ranger. God he was annoying. Gimli the dwarf. Erghh, not going there. Legolas the elf.  
And my friend Emma." Éodwyn was deeply engrossed in the story.  
"So you leave Rivendell...Then where?"  
"Lots of places. Moria. Lothlorien."  
"Wow."  
"In places it was. But at times it was like, oh my god, get me out of here!" Éodwyn  
smiled broadly. I could see Boromir was itching to talk to me, but as Éodwyn kept asking me  
questions, he couldn't get a word in. "Umm, do you think that you could leave us alone for a  
while?"  
"Ahhhhh." Éodwyn grinned. "Will do." She gave me a knowing wink before going   
over to talk to some old dude with frizzy grey hair.  
I turned to face Boromir. There was an awkward pause. It was just like the time in  
Rivendell when we first met. I shifted uncomfortably.  
"You shouldn't have died." he said softly.  
"I wasn't happy with life. I suppose the Uruk-hai did me a favour. It was very quick  
and there was hardly any pain."  
"You should have carried on......"  
"I had gone to pieces. Nothing mattered to me anymore." Another pause followed.  
We just stood there, not speaking to each other. I stared at the floor. I knew Boromir was  
sucking his thumb because I could hear the cute little sucking sounds he always made when he  
had his thumb in his mouth. I smiled before looking up at him.   
"I need to see Emma."  
"You can't go."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I don't want you to."  
"I'm going. Deal with it." I turned and walked away from him. Boromir caught my   
wrist.  
"You're not going." he said flatly.  
"I am." He pulled me into him.  
"You're staying here."  
"Let go!!" I yelled. "If you think I'm choosing you over my best friend then you are  
very much mistaken." I got free and stormed off somewhere.  
---------------------------------  
Éodwyn found me. She came and sat next to me.  
"My brother Éodan and I are holding a Death Day dance. And I was wondering if you  
and Boromir would like to go together."  
"With HIM? No way."  
"I thought...."  
"We were. Not any more."  
"Why?"  
"Personal."   
"Oh right." And she didn't press the matter further, which I thought was very   
considerate of her.  
--------------------------------  
"Oh no. Not him." Éodwyn spat bitterly. Isildur was swaggering up to us.  
"Hello Miss Éodwyn. I must say that you look absolutely wonderful today..."  
"Go away Isildur."  
"I was wondering if I'd have the pleasure of taking you to the dance." he asked her.  
"Why would I go with a slimeball like you?" I looked at her in suprise. Isildur isn't that  
bad looking once you ignore the greasy hair.  
"It's true though." she said simply.  
"Who's this?" Isildur asked, looking me up and down.  
"I'm Nat." I said with a look of discomfort on my face.  
"Hmmm....How about you come to the dance with me?" He was still eyeing me up  
whilst he said this. A small smile flickered across my lips. I went over to him and whispered in   
his ear. "If you want to, then that's fine with me." I gave him a flirty wink. Isildur grinned  
sharkishly. He offered me his arm, which I took. And we walked off together. I cast a glance  
back at Éodwyn, who had her mouth hanging open in suprise.  
--------------------------------------  
Well. The dance isn't that great. Hang on. That's an understatement. It's TERRIBLE.  
Everyone is staring at me. That, I suppose, has something to do with Isildur. He REALLY isn't  
very popular round here is he? I saw Boromir talking to Éodwyn. I gave him the evils before  
going to dance with Isildur. Ergh. He's placed his hands on my ass. Not a good idea really. So I   
slapped him and walked off.  
---------------------------------------  
Later on, Éodwyn scuttled up to me.   
"If this has ANYTHING to do with him, I'm not interested." I said bluntly.  
"Look. He's really upset."  
"I don't care."  
"It's hurting him so much, seeing you dancing with Isidur."  
"Well I'm not any more so he can stop being so pathetic."  
"He actaully had a cry about it...." That's right. Go and use the Guilt Trip on me.  
And the bad thing is, it's actually working. I bit my lip.  
"You two have to talk." she continued. I thought about it for a moment. I gave in.  
"Fine. I'll talk to him."   
"Great!" Éodwyn smiled at me. "Hurry up though, the last dance is very close."  
-------------------------------------  
I stood at Boromirs' side. "Look. I'm sorry for shouting at you.....I didn't mean it..."  
Boromir sniffed and turned his back on me. "Boromir please..." This SUCKS!! It's basically  
just crawling back to him. Which I'm not happy about doing. It's normally the guys crawling   
back to me....But anyway, if I have to do it, I'll do it.   
Boromir still had his back to me. "Please listen to me Boromir....." He just held his   
head up high and ignored me. Fine. Be like that. I ain't giving up though. I put my hand on his  
shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. I felt him relax a little once I'd done this. Hmmm...Ok.  
I put my right hand on his other shoulder. "This isn't fair.....You know I....I..." I was  
struggling to get the words out. "You know I love you...." It felt a great deal better once I did.  
I no longer had that sick feeling inside me, for it was replaced with a warm glowing sensation.  
I knew he was crying, I could feel his shoulders shaking slightly. So I led him to a seat and sat   
him down in it. Boromir buried his face in his hands and sobbed. I sat beside him. I hate to see   
him cry, it makes me feel sad too. "Come on..." I said soothingly, "Stop crying...." Boromir  
sniffed loudly. Erghhh. Yuk. I put my arms around him. "Please don't cry Boromir...." He  
fell onto my shoulder and wailed. Oh my god. He NEEDS to sort that out. SERIOUSLY.  
People were beginning to stare again. A few old biddies were shaking their heads in disgust, and  
were muttering stuff under their breath. I scowled at them. They shook their heads again and  
moved off. I don't want to know what they were saying, as it was most likely to be about me.  
And I'm sure it wasn't nice things either. Boromir gave another loud sniff. Oh ew...all over  
me everything. Gross, gross, and did I mention gross.   
----------------------------------  
Éodwyn came up to me after the dance had finished. She seemed rather miffed.  
"You never danced with him."  
"It's kinda hard to when he's flopped out on you. I think it was too much for him." I  
grinned at her and pointed at Boromir who had his head lying in my lap.  
"Oh. Right." Éodwyn said. She still looked put out, but I think she understood. I brushed the hair away from his  
face and sighed.  
----------------------------------  
I'm still sitting in the seat with Boromir resting his head in my lap. I shake him. And what a suprise, it has no  
effect. Damn it.  
----------------------------------  
This is getting stupid. I pushed Boromir off my lap and he landed on the floor with a thump. I winced and stood   
up. I can't feel my legs properly, as I'd been sitting down for a long time. "Time to see Emma." I began to walk off when I   
felt something catch hold of my leg. I stumbled and fell to the ground.   
"Hey!" I rolled over and saw Boromir with his hand around my ankle.  
"You're not going." he said.  
"We're not going to start THIS again are we?" I snapped. "Emma's my best friend, I'm not just going to leave  
her on her own like that."  
"But...."   
"Why don't you want me to go?" I asked him. Best to get the reason why before I shout at him again.  
"Because......I'm.....I'm...." he sniffed, "I'm scared I'll loose you." I rolled my eyes.  
"Well you COULD have said that earlier."  
"You wouldn't listen..." That was true.   
"I'm sorry. But I REALLY have to go....." I picked myself up and walked away.  
----------------------------------  
I spotted Éodwyn with her brother. I went up to them.  
"I'm leaving." I said to her. Éodwyns' jaw dropped.  
"You can't....." she started.  
"I'm going to see my best friend." I told her. "To make sure she's ok."  
"But what about Boromir?"  
"Take care of him." I said, smiling. "Bye Éodwyn. I'll come back to see you sometimes." I waved as I left them.  
---------------------------------  
"Wait!" Someone shouted after me. I stopped and closed my eyes. I knew who it was, even without looking.  
"Boromir....please. I have to go." I opened my eyes again. Sure enough, he was standing in front of me, wearing  
a stupid grin on his face.  
"I'll go with you." he said smiling broadly. The idiot. He has no idea what he's getting himself into.  
"You don't want to go." I told him. "It'll be really boring. Trust me."  
"I do want to go." he replied. He said this with such determination that I could hardly refuse.  
"Ok. But first we're going to see Frodo. I need to see if he's ok." Boromir looked at me. "Emma." I said simply.  
"Ahhh." He nodded. "I understand."  
"Good for you. Now if you're coming...." Boromir nodded enthusiastically. "If I am correct, then all we have to  
do is think about the person you wish to visit and we'll appear before them. I'm not sure if it'll work...."  
"It does. I've done it to see you, remember?"  
"Hm." I shut off everything and let my mind focus on Frodo. I felt a rush of air whip through my hair. I looked  
around. I was standing in a wooded area. There were several men dressed in green and Sam and Frodo were with them.  
"Faramir." I looked over at Boromir.  
"Who?" I asked.  
"My brother Faramir." he said in a choked voice.   
"He's not exactly gifted in the looks department is he?" Boromir shot me a confused look. I rolled my eyes. "What  
I mean is, he's not very good looking is he?" Boromir shrugged.  
"I'm not one to judge on that sort of thing." Faramir had long gingery hair which fell to his shoulders, and had a  
beard of the same colour. The thing that struck me when I first saw him was the fact he had a VERY long nose. Yuk. What  
a total minger.  
"He has a big nose." I said.   
"You're right there." I grinned.  
"Lets talk to Frodo." I walked/glided over to Frodo. "Frodo...." He spun around wildly.  
"Who's that?" he said nervously.  
"Frodo.....Emma wishes to find out if you are ok....."  
"Who.....who are you?" Frodo said, his voice shaking.  
"Nat.....the girl who went on the quest....."  
"I know no Nat."  
"Yes you do you insolent little ass. I'm the snappy one who has a go at Aragorn all the time."  
"Oh yes. What happened to you?"  
"I died." I said simply.  
"Oh."  
"Yeah. So are you ok?"  
"Yes."  
"Good. I'll be going then. See ya!!!" I waved at him before disappearing.   
----------------------------------  
"Right. Now to find Emma." Aragorn and Leggy were standing talking to each other and Gimli was reading his  
magazine. Eww. Super Edition this time. Utterly puke worthy. Ah ha!!! There she is. Emma was sitting down on her own,  
and she seemed to be a little subdued. Wow. She's sad about me dying. God. That is AMAZING. I would have thought  
she'd be glad to be rid of my constant practical joking. Hmmmm...that gives me an idea......  
I sneak over to Emma and pull her hair. She yelped in pain and looked up. I sniggered.  
"Who did that?" she asked. "Come on! You can't hide from the almighty Emma!!" Yeah. Whatever Em. I can  
hide from ya. So there. "Aragorn, did you do that?"   
"What?"  
"Legolas, how about you?" Oh come on! You KNOW they weren't even anywhere NEAR you so how can they?  
Duh!!   
"Gimli! It was you wasn't it?" Now she's getting desperate. Gimli sighs and goes back to reading his 'book'.  
"Emma....." I hissed.  
"Who's that?" Emma said, her voice shaking.  
"Emma......I know where you live...."   
"Aragorn this isn't funny!"  
"Emma......I know you have fantasies about Frodo Baggins!!" Boromir snorted. Emma went red.  
"Erm...whatever!"  
"Emma........" I hissed louder, " I. Know. Everything!!!!" Emma went white.   
"Where are you? I can't see you."  
"I'm here. In front of you."  
"There's nothing here."  
"I. Am. Dead. You. See. Dead. People." I decided to appear to her. Emma gasped.  
"Oh my God......" 


End file.
